diagnoseis

A doctor's report on what's amiss wif yer sniffer.

Da term "diagnoseis" could also refer to da ferreting-out of a problem by either identification/source-pinpointing of an abnormal odor, or "sticking in yer big/long schnoz" to learn intimate details of da matter under investigation.

by QuacksO April 27, 2025

Diagnostic Fart Assessment

A specially developed diagnostic tool used by the EPA that seeks to assess the concentration of methane in a mammal’s farts.

Our staff meetings, as a whole, could benefit from a Diagnostic Fart Assessment, since passing gas is our primary mode of communication.

by Dr Bunnygirl March 25, 2019

self diagnosis

When a person diagnoses themselves based on websites like WebMD and Mayo Clinic.

Step 1: "Owww it hurts"

Step 2: Google where it hurts

Step 3: Examples come up on the search

Step 4: Compare the respective sites

Step 5: Come to conclusion

Jeff googled "irregular pain in the kidney area" to see what was up. WebMD told him that it could just be a muscle strain; this was Jeff's self diagnosis and he decided that was the problem and didn't go to the doctor. 8 months later Jeff found out he had terminal hip bone cancer and that he had only 2 years to live.

Elise had a slight pain in her neck after falling off her bed in the middle of the night and hitting herself. Being a chronic neurotic, she feared for the worst, googled it, just in case. She self diagnosed herself to have had throat cancer. She went to the doctor and found out it was a simple trapezius sprain.

by bpipic April 8, 2010

Self-diagnosed

Someone who 100% definitely has some sort of mental disorder simply because they say they do. Any attempts to quash this will be immediately shot down since nothing beats a self-diagnosed 14 yr old with mobile service.

Billy: Dude I am self-diagnosed with depression
Jake: No you're not
Jake proceeds to die since he has angered the mob of 14 year olds

by loolololollololoolo69 March 25, 2019

self-diagnoser

self diagnosers are the people that like fidget cubes so they say "I need it so I can focus". Then the next day they will be like "omg i feel like I need fidget constantly, Omg I have such bad adhd" . This is very annoying not to mention how fucking annoying it is to people that actually have adhd. First of all stop, second of all GET A DIAGNOSIS!! I can't even tell you how many people are like "Do you really think i can go talk to that person? I have depression, anxiety, and social anxiety!!" I am so sorry that you are feeling fidgety, nervous, or sad, but mental illness isn't an adjective! I know karen looked up 7 "100% accurate not-fake (adhd/anxiety/depression/other mental illness)" test on google and its said she had whatever mental illness, but you really can't throw around those terms. in conclusion, self diagnosers piss people off! it doesnt matter how much u rlly think you have it, GET A DIAGNOSIS! DONT GO AROUND SAYING THAT U HAVE RLLY BAD THIS OR THAT WHEN YOU PROBABLY DON'T! PLEASE JUST DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR MENTAL ILLNESS THAT U ARE REALLY SURE THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE BEFORE YOU GET A DIAGNOSIS FROM A REAL DOCTOR/PSYCHOLOGIST! NOBODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR "STRUGGLES"! JUST SHUT UP!!!!

karen says she has ADHD because she is feeling fidgety (after drinking 7 red bulls) WHAT A self-diagnoser!

by literally can't even May 14, 2018

diagnostificationism

Often a term used in the automotive industry to conduct a thorough diagnosis of a vehicle usually taking many more hours than is recommended. This is basically one step below completely tearing the car apart.

Brandon: How is the car coming along?
Jeff: I can't seem to figure out what the problem is!
Brandon: You've been working on that car for 3 hours.
Jeff: Yes, I need to perform "diagnostificationism".

by Jeff Pieper May 27, 2008

diagnosticise

To diagnose or to fix a technical problem with style or flair

"Frankie, lemme diagnosticise your phone"

by Big-AJ April 7, 2013