blartkin

Farting whilst receiving a blow job.

Either by accident or on purpose.

Honey...........I was wondering.........when you give me a
BJ...why not blow instead of suck?!?....it might work.

As she blows you RASP one out. "Hey don't blow that hard,
it's not a trumpet.....now I've had a blartkin

by Brucester January 31, 2008

Blarting

The act of attempting to finger someone with your foot whilst watching Paul Blart Mall Cop, starring Kevin James as the titular mild-mannered security guard who must save the day when his shopping mall is taken over by a gang of organised crooks.

"omg becky, i cant believe dinosaur cum boy blarted me last night"

"eww blarting is so gross, at least he didn't grown ups 2 (featuring adam sandler, kevin james, chris rock and david spade) you like connor did to me the other night"

by Xx_blarter_xX December 26, 2021

Blartin

To roam around the office without purpose wasting time, like a security guard or mall cop.

Q: Where's Paul? A: He's Blartin.

by Holacabron August 16, 2015

BLarkin

A Blarkin is a verb where a person is blue-balled, or where a person thinks they are going to get laid but it ends up failing, and in their outrage and pure drunkenness, the person punches a hole in the wall.

Sam: "What happened here?" (as he points to a hole in the wall
Derek: "Bob got pissed last night and pulled a BLarkin when Sandra turned him down"
Sam: "Shiiiiiii"

by SkyManSlick November 17, 2006

blarting

To cry your eyes out

"Stop blarting, little Johnny!"

by Mandy Robinson June 9, 2005

blarting

The act of falling down when overweight. This is popularised by Paul Blart, the Mall Cop, as he falls down in each movie for at least 5+ times. TL:DR Fat man go boom-boom.

Oh dear, Paul is always blarting all over the place! He just blarted right there in the ball at work. It never stops.

by MertK October 23, 2016

blarkin

The act of giving a blowjob while seated on a toilet (bonus if simultaneously pooping). The yin to a blumpkin's yang.

Guy 1: "I walked in on her while she was taking a dump and she blew me."
Guy 2: "Brah, you just got a blarkin!"

by 220historian June 17, 2011