A Blarkin is a verb where a person is blue-balled, or where a person thinks they are going to get laid but it ends up failing, and in their outrage and pure drunkenness, the person punches a hole in the wall.
Sam: "What happened here?" (as he points to a hole in the wall
Derek: "Bob got pissed last night and pulled a BLarkin when Sandra turned him down"
Sam: "Shiiiiiii"
Derek: "Bob got pissed last night and pulled a BLarkin when Sandra turned him down"
Sam: "Shiiiiiii"
by SkyManSlick November 17, 2006
The act of giving a blowjob while seated on a toilet (bonus if simultaneously pooping). The yin to a blumpkin's yang.
Guy 1: "I walked in on her while she was taking a dump and she blew me."
Guy 2: "Brah, you just got a blarkin!"
Guy 2: "Brah, you just got a blarkin!"
by 220historian June 17, 2011
When a chick is drunkenly giving you dome on St. Patty's day, and the force of your piece on the pack of her throat forces her to vomit green beer and phlegm.
Your sister totally Blarkin Mcglurkin'd, dude. It was so fucking gross. Last time I let her blow me.
by Mr. Cool Jesus October 2, 2008