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Brucester's definitions

space cookies

Skiing: A small lump of very hard snow or ice that looks innocent enough but it is practically welded to the piste causing you to stumble when you ski into it. Usually encountered first thing in the morning before the sun has loosened the snow up.
Following a wipe-out....."I think I must have hit a space cookie or something"

OR

Take it easy guys this next bit is littered with space cookies
by Brucester September 10, 2006
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Power Fish

You have just woken up after a shag, you need a piss and you also need to get rid of the used condom still on your cock, you also need to make certain that the condom is totally disposed of.........enter the POWER FISH, holding the condom still in place you empty your bladder into it, then precisely positioning yourself so that the baloon of piss is directly over the deepest part of the pan, then let go immediatly with both hands. A 'bonus power fish' is sometimes achieved whereby the payload drops with such force that it vanishes round the U bend immediately without even flushing.

The science behind a bonus power fish is still poorly understood but may have something to do with the shape of the particular pan and also the volume of piss in the skin willie. BPF's still only account for 5% of Power Fish.
Re-enters the room....<Thinks> Fucking dynamite Power Fish.

She <thinks> wierd cunt, sounded like a power dump, I wonder if his arse is prolapsed?
by Brucester September 13, 2006
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Non Specific Builderitis

A critical and sometimes expensive condition whereby a builder goes off at a tangent and does something you didn't want. Why is it called, "Non specific"? BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T SPECIFY IT !
Opens door, "Oh no what's that?" Why have they done that? When challenged the builder will start his reply with, "What I thought was" You will think, "I am a victim of Non Specific Builderitis"
by Brucester April 10, 2008
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Brexititis

A neurological condition whereby the patient's real personality is suddenly revealed by their simple loss of ability to accept views different to their own, Leave or Remain, to the point at which they suspend all respect for others and then enter into raised levels of judgement and hatred creating social division.

Signs include excess heat, hot sunken eyes, redness, finger poking, increased volume, pronounced veins, general appearance of shitty indignation and judgemental and personal posting on social media including memes that are borderline legal.

Brexititis can be highly contagious in closed circles such as pubs, market stalls, farms, small businesses, school staff rooms and hospitals and is more prevalent among people aged 30+. Bed rest is the only cure - hence young people tend never to catch it in the first place.
They were having a stimulating conversation and then someone said, "What do you reckon to the referendum?". Immigration was then discussed whereupon several people exhibited an episode of Brexititis.
by Brucester July 2, 2016
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cowsh

Mendip caving slang for cow shit.
As we entered sump five we found that it was thigh deep in cowsh.
by Brucester September 16, 2006
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Industrial Tribunal

Industrial Tribunal (UK) used to be a court designed to deal with the bad employers. It is now a sham, 1000s of good employers are ending up being IT'd due to 'no win - no fee solicitors' and an oppressive spiteful govenment.
We're not sure what we did wrong, it's so complicated. We spent £12k on legal fees in the run up to court. We made a mistake in our HR procedures and were fined £16k. I have now lost my house and my company. Turns out that the claimant has done this 3 times before.

Welcome to Industrial Tribunal in the UK !
by Brucester June 4, 2011
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pork oil

Practically unacknowledged existence of highly porky smelling oil secreted around the anus - avoid showering for a few days to discover this. Can be smeared under the nose of a fellow camping / dormitory occupant as a punishment.

Other 'oils' exist - discover and enjoy......
Lamb oil - found in the pubes,
Cheese oil - found between toes esp. athletes foot
Bacon & onion oil - armpits
Chicken oil - hair!
Prawn oil - earns, esp if infected.
I taught the arsewipe not to snore, I gave him a pork oil moustache.
by Brucester September 10, 2006
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