asscend 

When one is so obsessed with the topic of ascension that they just end up looking and acting like a complete ass, usually by bragging about it, denying their inflated ego ignoring that their “spiritual journey” is nothing more than a mask used to cover up their quest to appear and feel like they’re above everyone, and other obnoxious behaviors. They regurgitate popular spiritual phrases like “love and light” and “namaste”, and post obnoxious memes in order to both validate and cover up their narcissistic douchebag behaviors.

“NewAgers don’t ascend, they asscend.”

“Ever since Becky got into spiritualism she’s been such a bitch. She’s asscended, alright.”

“Hopefully they snap out of it before the asscendsion takes over for good!”

“You’re assending and it’s scaring me!!”

asscend by TreeSquidMcGee August 11, 2019

Ascended master 

Ascended Masters are believed to be spiritually enlightened beings who in past incarnations were ordinary humans, but who have undergone a series of spiritual transformations originally called initiations.

The term "Ascended Master" was first used by Baird T. Spalding in 1924 in his series of books, "The Life and Teachings of the Masters of the Far East" (DeVorss and Co.).

Ascended master by kaosmoker September 30, 2018

How to ascend 

Step 1: Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up
Step 2: Suffer يجب أن يعاني يجب أن يعاني يجب أن يعاني يجب أن يعاني احصل على التصيد
Step 3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35: Transجend
##!**##!**!!**##*#!!*##!!*#*!!*!*!##!* FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED ##!**##!**!!**##*#!!*##!!*#*!!*!*!##!*

How to ascend:
Need to know: Oil floats on water
Step 1: Cover yourself in oil
Step 2: Wait for it to start raining

Step 3: تغذي من خوارك الضعيف لأنهم غير قادرين على الطيران

How to ascend by XxXSuccmanXxX March 19, 2021

ascended 

The state or mindset of being intellectually, spiritually and emotionally risen above yourself and any toxic, descended peers

I believe in helping other people. I've quit porn, got a new healthier diet, I'm going for a run everyday, I'm taking every oppurtunity to broaden my horizons, meet new people and expand my mind. I am past wasting my time on foolish actions. I am my own master. I can conquer anything I want to. I am smart and the world is what I make of it. I am ascended

ascended by Ascended Person October 19, 2020

system of ascending precedents

a sequence of events wherein each event sets a new, higher standard that will act as a precedent for all subsequent events.
-As far as I know, this phrase has never been coined or defined before.

Bob tells funny stories and does spontaneous imitations at work. each one is a little funnier than the one before. his co-worker's expectations track with his performance so that now he has to maintain the gradient of improvement every time he opens his mouth or, - and this is the key- they will respond as if it was less funny than it really is. He has trapped himself in a system of ascending precedents.

system of ascending precedents by Kenneth A. Vaughan February 18, 2009

ASScentives 

Derived from the word "incentives". An ASScentive is when a guy (or girl) is looking for a short term friend with benefits/piece of ass.

"I think this girl may offer some good ASScentives" or "He's a douche, he's just looking for ASScentives"

ASScentives by ASScentives October 28, 2009

AscendedSION 

a person who is highly skilled in playing games.

"aww dude, that guy is a total ascendedsion."

AscendedSION by TAX_EVADERMLGSUNCREAM July 23, 2021