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Apple-john 

A preserved apple which has lost the majority of its water content and thus appears wrinkled and shriveled. It was a term invented by Shakespeare, not Seth MacFuckingFarlane.
“I am withered like an old apple-john.” Shakespeare: 1 Henry IV. iii. 3.
Apple-john by Gliese September 13, 2010

beef witted apple john 

One who amongst your circle of friends is commonly known as a lesser person, often humorously scorned in passing, yet not worthy of lengthy thought.
"Oh look everyone it's Alex Trebek. Hey Alex, ya beef witted apple john! What's the difference between you and a bird with a cold? One's a sick duck...anyways I don't remember how it ends but your mother's a whore."

Johnny Apple Stem 

When after anal sex (with a man or a woman), a man goes to urinate and a little brown "stem" (resembling an Apple Stem) pops out of his penis.
So I fucked this bitch in her dirty asshole last night and when I was done corn holing the broad I went to take a piss and a Johnny Apple Stem popped out!

Johnny apple weed 

the residue left after smoking a bowl pack out of an apple pile its made up of half burnt green drenched in apple juice
"Dude i smoked some johnny apple weed and now i fuccin stoned
Johnny apple weed by DeCoY189th November 13, 2010

Johnny Rotten Apple Quicksteps 

Diarrhea where each step results in an additional shart.
Wife: What the hell happened to your boxers and pants?

Husband: Your mother's cooking gave me the Johnny Rotten Apple Quicksteps. Those last few steps on the way to the bathroom were brutal. Good thing I was wearing socks.

johnny apple weed 

The device that is created when you take an apple, cut a bowl in it, and a hole to pull, and then proceed to smoke marijuana through.
"Hey make a Johnny Apple Weed cause I got some bud!"
johnny apple weed by ill spills October 13, 2007
More from Urban Dictionary
The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022
Word of the Day on October 28, 2026
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
womp by 175623226 November 3, 2011
Word of the Day on October 27, 2026
When your wife’s boyfriend let you sleep past 8pm 😎😎
Wife’s boyfriend: You have 5 more minutes
Me: Poggers!
Poggers by Just_Charles April 14, 2020
Word of the Day on October 26, 2026

Oblication 

A vacation, feeling more like an obligation, that involves visiting or staying with family.
So Joe where are you taking the kids for spring break vacation? We are going on an oblication to Boca to visit my mother-in-law.
Oblication by kimmerr May 5, 2011
Word of the Day on October 25, 2026

Surf Dracula Syndrome 

A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.

For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!
Word of the Day on October 24, 2026

Northstarring

Finding your way back to the truth by fixing on one verified fact and working out from there, the way you navigate by the North Star when everything around you is spinning.
Rumours were flying everywhere, so she went northstarring — one checked fact at a time.
Northstarring by Light Bearer October 22, 2026
Word of the Day on October 23, 2026
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