Pastime carried out by females or males of the general public and or celebrities. The act of masturbation by a man or a woman thinking of a subject or persons being "topical"/ current i.e. in the news and or media at the time of the masturbation/wank act.

during the Wimbledon tennis tournament (2week period), if wanking in the morning, one might say:
"i woke up this morning and had a topical wank whilst thinking of Serena Williams nailing Tsvetana Pironkova with a strap on cock in a lesbian love fest.

"i bashed one out last night during the news to that Russian spy Anna Chapman. It was a deeply satisfying topical wank".

Topical Wank by Unknown Minman July 12, 2010

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Thotical Mile

How far the average man can nut. Used for measuring the surface area of the thot.

Tim: Yo! How big was theshorty?
Tyrone: About 5 thotical miles.
Tim: Damn!!

Thotical Mile by Matthew Glasgow September 22, 2018

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right-on-topical

As coined by comedian, Daniel Tosh, to take a "right-on-topical" is to lead a conversation so the listener thinks it's going in one direction, and then switching it at the last second. This term can also apply to plot twists.

Did you see Shutter Island? I thought I had it figured out until the very end when the plot took a right-on-topical.

right-on-topical by Badgergirl77 October 13, 2010

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Topical Parkour

Conversations with good friends esp. when inebriated, that rapidly jump from topic to topic with no preceding explanation.

How the hell did we get onto midget pron? Topical Parkour baby! Keep up!

Topical Parkour by ErinNina/ShiftySly October 11, 2014

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