topical

A blowjob with a smart bitch.

Bro... that's topical.

by magicmonk123 September 12, 2020

topical cream

A cream that is put on top of things. Usualy to cure a rash.

I used topical to treat my jock rash

by Big_T September 30, 2003

Topical Wank

Pastime carried out by females or males of the general public and or celebrities. The act of masturbation by a man or a woman thinking of a subject or persons being "topical"/ current i.e. in the news and or media at the time of the masturbation/wank act.

during the Wimbledon tennis tournament (2week period), if wanking in the morning, one might say:
"i woke up this morning and had a topical wank whilst thinking of Serena Williams nailing Tsvetana Pironkova with a strap on cock in a lesbian love fest.

"i bashed one out last night during the news to that Russian spy Anna Chapman. It was a deeply satisfying topical wank".

by Unknown Minman July 12, 2010

Topical Parkour

Conversations with good friends esp. when inebriated, that rapidly jump from topic to topic with no preceding explanation.

How the hell did we get onto midget pron? Topical Parkour baby! Keep up!

by ErinNina/ShiftySly October 11, 2014

Topical Pop

A music genre invented by the New Zealand band Rangi and the Totos.

Is that rolling stones? nah, it's newest new zealands most iconic topical pop group, rangi and the totos!

by dopesurf21 August 21, 2020

Topical Ointment Boy

Topical Ointment Boy is an imaginary superhero invented by the famed Joe Prete. It is used in a derogatory manner to describe someone who has bad skin.

Gosh, who does Steve think he is with that creme, topical ointment boy?

by Joe_is_like_Whoa January 2, 2006

Topical Pop

A genre of music with current affairs at its heart, a comedic tone and a catchy melody.

'Him and the Layers' are the world's foremost Topical Pop group.

by therealmccoy September 16, 2020