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Pastime carried out by females or males of the general public and or celebrities. The act of masturbation by a man or a woman thinking of a subject or persons being "topical"/ current i.e. in the news and or media at the time of the masturbation/wank act.
during the Wimbledon tennis tournament (2week period), if wanking in the morning, one might say:
"i woke up this morning and had a topical wank whilst thinking of Serena Williams nailing Tsvetana Pironkova with a strap on cock in a lesbian love fest.

"i bashed one out last night during the news to that Russian spy Anna Chapman. It was a deeply satisfying topical wank".
by Unknown Minman July 02, 2010
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Sep 9 Word of the Day
the thing that you don’t have when you’re phones percentage is over 20
phone: why don’t you go to sleep tommy it’s 2 in the morning?
tommy:why don’t you die you dumbazz
by lik_frls_dis.me February 12, 2020
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