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cue the crickets 

1. A description of a quiet and sudden pause or lull in a conversation, following an inappropriate, embarrassing or really dumb comment, or comment on a subject no one cares about. Derived from a quiet setting ("cued" on a Hollywood or TV set), where the only sound is that of crickets in the background.
So did anyone catch that Paris Hilton post-jail interview?
(Cue the crickets)
cue the crickets by doubleyouj July 31, 2007

watering the cricketfield 

v. phrase. British expression for emptying one's bladder. Originally a euphemism used by Royalty but now used generally to mock the upper crust.

.....................................................................................
Excuse me Your Highness. I fear it is high time for me to be watering the cricketfield.

Would you like my groundskeeper to help you with that? She's very good with a hose.

I fear not M'am. Jolly good thought though.
watering the cricketfield by gnostic1 September 28, 2012

The Cricket 

The elite technique of masturbating with the inside of your knee.
Bernie: Oh shit, you hear about Shomari?
Conor: What about him?
Bernie: He got admitted to the hospital for an ACL tear.
Conor: What the fuck, how?
Bernie: He mastered the crow and attempted the cricket. Poor kids a dumbass.
The Cricket by Unpalpable March 5, 2009

The Cricket 

When you first get into a cold bed, under the covers and start rubbing your legs together to get warm
I'm doing the cricket
The Cricket by warwagon1979 April 7, 2016

The Cricket 

The Cricket is the act of a man run his hard on down a leg of his pants. He then must put one thigh over the other, his hard on between his legs. Then, in the fasion of a cricket, move your leg that is ontop across the leg (and hard on) beneath it. Meant for inconspicuious masturbation in public places
Dude, johnny thought he was hiding it but I saw him doin the cricket during class. He was goin at it pretty hard
The Cricket by ~MoonScythe~ July 3, 2010

swat the cricket 

verb. 1. to take antibiotics/antiviral medication to get rid of sexually transmitted diseases caused by some nasty bugs
After sleeping with that ho, I knew I would end up having to swat the cricket.
swat the cricket by JosephD September 2, 2006