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Tardpa

A middle aged person (20-50 years old) showing excessive wear physically and mentally (cognitive decline, paranoia, detachment from reality) - TARD (derived from "retard" + PA (derived from "grandpa" or "grandma".

who has physically and mentally aged in years and mentally declined
Guy - I can't believe out of all this s*** I send you that's what you actually research - you're advanced full tardpa these days..
by anonymous April 13, 2021
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tardpole

Genetically disfigured spermatozoa which can potentially bore mentally and/or physically impaired offspring once mated with an unfertilized egg. Common among male inbred species (see: hicks) and those who undertake long periods of celibacy without masturbation. The chances of producing tardpoles can be minimized by strict adherence to ALL of the following:

1. Prevention of any injury to the gonads.
2. Avoidance of mating with one's sister, cousin, and/or other close relative.
3. Frequent stimulation of the penis until after ejaculation has been achieved.
"Dude, Ortiz just got beaned in the sack by a 95 mph fastball...He'll be shooting tardpoles from now on."
by MJDP May 4, 2008
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Related Words

Tarspanier

the unwanted mark left in your underwear due to insufficient wiping after taking a shit.
i had to wash my underwear 3 times to remove all the tarspanier from them.
by 12aaaaaa June 21, 2016
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Tardcapade

Short for Retarded Escapade . . .
Intention to complete an (a)action(s) FAIL due to someone else's inability to comply / comprehend.
I asked him for the AMEX card, he said he didn't have it, I Tardcapaded for 10 minutes looking for it, all over the house and out in the truck, everywhere. I asked him to help me find it, he stood up and took it out of his pocket, saying " oh I had it , sorry!" Damn Tardcapade

I Tardcapaded around the house like forever looking for the keys, only to eventually find them still in the keyhole, freaking Tardcapade.

They went on a 20 minute Tardcapade trying to look for something HE misplaced...

Going to the store to get two or more of something and they only have 1, or nothig is a Tardcapade.
by |EStarr| December 14, 2009
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tardbabble

Undecipherable drivel that spews in spoken words or in text from a Retard attempting to sound clever by using one or a few BIG words, though the use of 'BIG words' is not necessary to qualify as tardbabble.

Can sometimes be mistaken for ramblings of a very intoxicated dim wit, and is the one language not spoken by even the most experienced Retard whisperer.
Danny: Hey Higz, my spelling sucks but I'm have intelligents, and I'm very patience and I know a lot about cybergenics and human evolution, I'm, a real, smarty, and I am ranked more dark side than Darth Vader

Bawahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

VonDutch: Danny that made absolutely no sense at all

Higz: More undecipherable tardbabble Kris, I won't try to reason with the mental midget, it will only bring about even more undecipherable babble, and I'm running out of Advil
by Higzy Teflon July 6, 2009
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Tardyard

A rather large and vocal group of intoxicated middle-aged men attending an outdoor event. Mostly obese and sometimes shirtless, they pump there fists into the air and belly slap each other at backyard barbeques, tailgate parties and other open air gatherings.
They love all sporting events and Hair Metal, high “five–in” themselves to the hits and other low brow simian activities. Will approach an attractive female at will and say something moronic.

Dope, Moron, Idiot, Imbecile, sports, Hair Metal, dolt, maroon, dumb dumb, genius, quiet, smooth,
That Tardyard event next door is getting out of hand; maybe we should call the police.

If that Tardyard doesn’t cut it, I’m throwing my shoe at them!
by Lord evil May 15, 2013
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tardcar

A car that’s so loud that it’s stupid.
Our neighbors, whom we refer to as the noisetards, of course have a complete and total tardcar.
by Dr Bunnygirl July 26, 2020
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