Tardpa 

A middle aged person (20-50 years old) showing excessive wear physically and mentally (cognitive decline, paranoia, detachment from reality) - TARD (derived from "retard" + PA (derived from "grandpa" or "grandma".

who has physically and mentally aged in years and mentally declined

Guy - I can't believe out of all this s*** I send you that's what you actually research - you're advanced full tardpa these days..

Tardpa by anonymous April 13, 2021

tardpole

Genetically disfigured spermatozoa which can potentially bore mentally and/or physically impaired offspring once mated with an unfertilized egg. Common among male inbred species (see: hicks) and those who undertake long periods of celibacy without masturbation. The chances of producing tardpoles can be minimized by strict adherence to ALL of the following:

1. Prevention of any injury to the gonads.
2. Avoidance of mating with one's sister, cousin, and/or other close relative.
3. Frequent stimulation of the penis until after ejaculation has been achieved.

"Dude, Ortiz just got beaned in the sack by a 95 mph fastball...He'll be shooting tardpoles from now on."

tardpole by MJDP May 4, 2008

Tarspanier

the unwanted mark left in your underwear due to insufficient wiping after taking a shit.

i had to wash my underwear 3 times to remove all the tarspanier from them.

Tarspanier by 12aaaaaa June 21, 2016

Tardcapade 

Short for Retarded Escapade . . .
Intention to complete an (a)action(s) FAIL due to someone else's inability to comply / comprehend.

I asked him for the AMEX card, he said he didn't have it, I Tardcapaded for 10 minutes looking for it, all over the house and out in the truck, everywhere. I asked him to help me find it, he stood up and took it out of his pocket, saying " oh I had it , sorry!" Damn Tardcapade

I Tardcapaded around the house like forever looking for the keys, only to eventually find them still in the keyhole, freaking Tardcapade.

They went on a 20 minute Tardcapade trying to look for something HE misplaced...

Going to the store to get two or more of something and they only have 1, or nothig is a Tardcapade.

Tardcapade by |EStarr| December 14, 2009

tardbabble 

Undecipherable drivel that spews in spoken words or in text from a Retard attempting to sound clever by using one or a few BIG words, though the use of 'BIG words' is not necessary to qualify as tardbabble.

Can sometimes be mistaken for ramblings of a very intoxicated dim wit, and is the one language not spoken by even the most experienced Retard whisperer.

Danny: Hey Higz, my spelling sucks but I'm have intelligents, and I'm very patience and I know a lot about cybergenics and human evolution, I'm, a real, smarty, and I am ranked more dark side than Darth Vader

Bawahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

VonDutch: Danny that made absolutely no sense at all

Higz: More undecipherable tardbabble Kris, I won't try to reason with the mental midget, it will only bring about even more undecipherable babble, and I'm running out of Advil

tardbabble by Higzy Teflon July 6, 2009

Tardyard

A rather large and vocal group of intoxicated middle-aged men attending an outdoor event. Mostly obese and sometimes shirtless, they pump there fists into the air and belly slap each other at backyard barbeques, tailgate parties and other open air gatherings.
They love all sporting events and Hair Metal, high “five–in” themselves to the hits and other low brow simian activities. Will approach an attractive female at will and say something moronic.

Dope, Moron, Idiot, Imbecile, sports, Hair Metal, dolt, maroon, dumb dumb, genius, quiet, smooth,

That Tardyard event next door is getting out of hand; maybe we should call the police.

If that Tardyard doesn’t cut it, I’m throwing my shoe at them!

Tardyard by Lord evil May 15, 2013

tardcar 

A car that’s so loud that it’s stupid.

Our neighbors, whom we refer to as the noisetards, of course have a complete and total tardcar.

tardcar by Dr Bunnygirl July 26, 2020