Genetically disfigured spermatozoa which can potentially bore mentally and/or physically impaired offspring once mated with an unfertilized egg. Common among male inbred species (see: hicks) and those who undertake long periods of celibacy without masturbation. The chances of producing tardpoles can be minimized by strict adherence to ALL of the following:

1. Prevention of any injury to the gonads.
2. Avoidance of mating with one's sister, cousin, and/or other close relative.
3. Frequent stimulation of the penis until after ejaculation has been achieved.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods