When one recruits a dog and a human to have a sexual escapade with them.
Process:
1. Acquire some Smuckers Jelly (Concord Grape is preferable)
2. Paste it all over your hand
3. Rear the hand back all the way in order for the Slap to be most effective
4. Slap it on the ass real good and rub it in
5. Leave the Jelly on for 10 seconds before having your dog lick it up
6. Enjoy.
Man I want to get a schmuckers slap right now.
I just got schmucked.
We are schmucking right now.
The act of getting too drunk and trying to tell people how drunk you by using the word either smashed or hammered. But seeing that your so drunk you can't talk, in the middle of your sentence you get real confused and the word "schmammered" slurringly comes out of your mouth.
Amanda put down her drink, looked me in the eyes, got real excited and said, "Schmaynard, I'm Schmammered."
Said after a very corny, very unfunny joke. Derived from the old Vaudeville comedy acts in which almost every one-liner was punctuated by a musical jingle. Usually played on the piano by a portly man with bright red cherub-like cheeks.
Made popular by Patton Oswalt in his comedy CD, "Werewolves & Lollipops".
Man in Auschwitz Camp: "I haven't seen this many ribs since I was at Tony Roma's!"