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Sadsturbate 

The term for masturbating while sad in order to take ones mind off of their personal troubles.
John Proctor's girlfriend broke up with him so he decided to sadsturbate in order to ease the sorrow.
Sadsturbate by Carl Grimes April 17, 2016

Sadsturbate 

Masturbation while in an intense period of remorse or sadness, lubrication naturally forming from tears raining down on one's frowny poundy
Sam was so upset when the Patriots lost to the Ravens that he sadsturbated for months in his room before he ran out of tears and boners.
Sadsturbate by TeamKeefe January 23, 2013

Sadsturbate 

When you masturbate to take your mind off something that's making you sad.
"Aw man...I'm so sad about my girl breaking up with me...I can't sleep..."
"Time to sadsturbate!"
Sadsturbate by bassmanmiles92 June 29, 2011

Sadturbate

My girlfriend broke up with me today. I sadturbated three times.
Sadturbate by Tubbyfatty October 19, 2014

shasterbate 

person number 1: "oh wow Justin the football player, takes a long time in the bathroom"
person number 2: "hes probably masturbating while he shits"
person number 1: "haha, Justin shasterbates"
person number 2: "hahahaha thats clever. shasterbate!"
shasterbate by shexcelent December 1, 2009

Sadsturbation 

"My girlfriend broke up with me, so im left to sadsturbation."