Sobsterbate 

To masturbate while wallowing in self-pity.
To masturbate while crying.

Can't get ahold of Mike? His girlfriend just dumped him, I'll bet he's home sobsterbating.

Sobsterbate by Annie July 1, 2005

Sobsterbate 

Giving the ol' below the waist hitch hikers thumb while having a good cry; note: any other feelings had during this action would just be masturbation during a really sad and terrible time

I was looking at our wedding photos and I had to sobsterbate

Sobsterbate by Carion Magnus September 4, 2023

sobberbate

To masturbate, using your own tears as lubricant

"Vondersaar was sobberbating all night last night"

"why don't you go sobberbate alone in your room"

sobberbate by HELP!POLICE! September 21, 2011

Sobberbate

The act of vigorously crying and masturbating at the same time, without consideration to the appropriateness of the surroundings or others. Not to be confused with exhibitionism, sobberbation is rooted in sexual compulsion and the wanton abandonment of normative behavior.

Did you see that fucked up woman by the pool yesterday? After crying about her divorce and mom being a bitch, she spread her legs like yoga and started to sobberbate in front of everyone.

It was pretty hot at first. But got weird quick.

Sobberbate by MassIndulgence June 29, 2022

socksterbate 

The art of using a sock when masturbating in order to not "make a mess"

I can't wait 'till tonight so I can socksterbate!!

socksterbate by mr. boinkyou October 8, 2008

shasterbate 

shitting while masterbating

person number 1: "oh wow Justin the football player, takes a long time in the bathroom"
person number 2: "hes probably masturbating while he shits"
person number 1: "haha, Justin shasterbates"
person number 2: "hahahaha thats clever. shasterbate!"

shasterbate by shexcelent December 1, 2009

Showsterbate 

To perform the act of masturbation in the shower

At camp, ethan showsterbated which wasn't cool because it was the only open shower.

Showsterbate by Riley Langburt February 18, 2009