A porcine cosmetologist is a periphrastic term for someone who puts lipstick on a pig; in other words, a spin doctor. This is someone who attempts to make something more favorable or attractive than it really is.
The typicalactor or politician in trouble is in need of a porcine cosmetologist.
The smell of bacon frying in the morning that permeates throughout the home thus awakening anyone sleeping in. Whether they wake because they love bacon or are afraid they will miss breakfast.
"Dude, I couldn't sleep any longer, your porcine alarm clock told me I needed to grab some bacon before it was all gone"
And
"Are you setting the porcine alarm for the morning?" "Hell yes, I got 2 lbs of smoked thick cut bacon ready in the fridge"
A porcine whore is like a pig whore. Porcine means- Of or resembling swine or a pig. It's like calling someone a whore or a pig yet when usedtogether it is more offensive.
Johnny went out bar hopping last night and woke up next to some porcine whore! He likes them big but damn, that chick was huge.
When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
Short-hand for the word floccinaucinihilipilification, meaning the estimation of something as valueless (encountered mainly as an example of one of the longest words in the English language).