Parentoia

a parent's conviction that something horrible will happen to their child while they are not watching, or even if they are watching.

Jenny won't won't les her daughter play in the sand- she said it's "dirty!" If that's not parentoia I don't know what is!

by parentoid March 18, 2009

parentplayer

Any child that plays one parent against the other one to get what they want.

The parentplayer smiled after getting a new lap-top from mom and a new play-station from dad.

by jpg3 November 30, 2014

scantron paranoia

the feeling one experiences when taking a test on a scantron and getting the same answer multiple times in a row; applies to students

I got five B's in a row on my scantron, one of them HAD to have been wrong. I hate scantron paranoia.

by iCoinedThat1199 December 28, 2009

Boner Paranoia

When you have a boner and everything looks fuckable (extremely horny)

Bro, I have boner paranoia. I'm so down to fuck my 45 year old Hispanic house keeper.

by Martin Luber King October 21, 2016

Peter Paranoia

One who will make false accusations about people and be unable to back them up.

They will convince themselves that the accusations are real, and will never admit that it was made up.

Peter Paranoia claimed that Joe was stealing all of his tools from his shed, then Peter Paranoia accused somebody of urinating in his chocolate biscuits and lemonade.

What a cuckoo!

by meds4u January 15, 2010

last.fm paranoia

Stopping an embarrassing song right before the halfway point so that it won't scrobble and show on your last.fm profile.

Alice: I had better stop this K-pop song; it's at 2:04 and the song is 4:25.
Bob: Sounds like you've got last.fm paranoia.

by Clayffer Johanson August 16, 2010

NMP Parenting

Not My Problem Parenting... a style of parenting where parents utilize natural consequences for children regarding their actions. Especially useful in parenting school age children who forget their lunch, forget to wear a coat or had detention because they didn't do their homework.

A very effective parenting style that can result in children taking more ownership of their actions and develops independence and self responsibility.

Teacher to parent: "Mrs. G, your son Eli has forgotten his homework folder three weeks in a row, and now he's going to lose his recess for a week."
Parent: "Sounds good to me. NMP. I did my homework. I have a good job. I get to chit chat with my friends at work at the water cooler. Sorry Eli, next time don't forget your homework folder. Not My Problem. NMP Parenting works!"
Child: "Waaaaa... I want my Mommy to rescue me. Oh well, I hate losing my recess so you know I'm not forgetting my folder EVER again!"

by Funny Moms August 11, 2014