(The)Pains is a term that describes a person experiencing explosive diarrhea. Usually very painfull and quite often. Occurs mostly after eating spicy food.
Butch ate a spicy habanerotaco and then ran to the restroom screaming as he was about to hit the john and have the Pains!
Your pains is someone who you date, talk to, have a crush on, or mess with. Pains can be the equivalent of a significant other when used in a sentence.
See that guy over there? I want him to be my pains.
A person who loves to glaze a person called "PlxlPug". This is often called being a sheep, but in this term we call someone a "Pains". Pains often likes to follow around PlxlPug and usually doesn't make his own decisions. He also doesn't know the defintion of meatride.
Barry: "Why is this guy glazing me."
Everyone: "No way this guy is acting like Pains!"
Usually an unexpected precursor signal from your stomach to your sphincter informing your hole that you are about to release a Hendren ( A giant turd )
Tony suddenly doubled over in discomfort while sitting in the back seat. He was suffering from Shit Pains and needed to drop loaf ASAP.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.