Ownanism 

The act of making yourself look a right wanker - a portmanteau of own, and Onanism.

"Nice self-own! Made himself look a right wanker."
"Don't you mean... Ownanism?"
"Oh you're so clever, come here and rub me."
"Yes, fam."

Ownanism by FMJPotato March 3, 2022

Onanism 

Colloquially it is a synonym, but technically the "Sin of Onan" for which it is named for is actually an instance of coitus interruptus.

"Onanism -- it's a hands-on job"

-Ghost, ENTER THE MATRIX

Onanism by Jay Jay Ron March 20, 2008

onanism 

to wank,
to tame the one eyed monster,
to make the cyclops cry,
man's favourite outlet,
a date with mrs palm and her five
lovely daugters,
toss yourself off,
etc etc

"now on the subject of onanism...we dont want to find you hunched double on the sofa bed pumping your fist" (league of gentlemen)

onanism by pinkpill December 1, 2004

oenanism 

1. the act of pandering to one's own pretensions by making an excessive fuss over the quality of wines at a party.
2. wine wankery.

Origin: 2007; Gk oǐn(os) wine + after Onan, son of Judah (Gen. 38:9)

"The importance of the difference in taste between a two-year-old Portuguese douro and a two-year-old Portuguese dão can only be fully explained by an expert in oenanism, desperatetly trying to score at a houseparty at 2.30 in the morning."

oenanism by Ronan Hodson July 6, 2007

Onanism 

from New Latin onanismus, from Onan, son of Judah (Gen 38:9),
masturbation, coitus interruptus, self-gratification.

Jon can'g get any, so he practices onanism.

Onanism by El Cid June 21, 2003

Arboreal Onanism 

Masturbating in trees.

Prior to killing Martha Moxley, Michael Skakel masturbated in a nearby tree. He was convicted of 1 count of arboreal onanism.

Arboreal Onanism by TwatCop September 23, 2005

Onanism 

Ejaculation outside the vagina.

I think someone did onanism in my coffee again. That sure aint milk.

Well you would know scab mouth!

Onanism by Anonymous September 17, 2003