optimizer 

Bullshit software made up by Chinese companies as a form of making extra cash.

IOBit Advanced System Optimizer is useless, it does nothing for your computer

optimizer by nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn January 5, 2021

pc optimizer pro 

A scam popularized by a dumb fuck who infects Windows platforms with viruses and streamed it as a prank call.

Have you heard of PC optimizer pro?

pc optimizer pro by Not Merriam-Webster May 28, 2018

Self optimizer 

One who glorifies themselves at the expense of those around them or associated with.

My co-worker is a “self optimizer” purposefully promoting prowess over others to the detriment of those he/she views a a threat in their immediate environment.

Self optimizer by Broken Antler Alum June 26, 2020

Robust Optimizer 

Someone who knows the darkest nights produce the brightest stars.

Are you taking an umbrella just because there is a 10% chance of rain? You are such a robust optimizer!

Robust Optimizer by cuppoo95 September 21, 2021

Pirates of Optimization 

Noun, plural of Pirate of Optimization.
When a group of people come together to do a half-assed job of solving an optimization problem

"Did you see that shitty-assed Pareto of the CHP, Must have been the Pirates of Optimization."
"Yeah, those guys went to Doobie-U"
-Said while looking at the blue line

Pirates of Optimization by decompresion December 21, 2008

M.M. Optimization 

The idea that the Goffyistic ideal of the self can be found by optimizing the time spent in "M.M." and in "daily life" in such a way that one's social relationships are upheld.

"Jack has achieved M.M. Optimization - nobody even thinks what he's doing is stupid anymore!"

M.M. Optimization by JohnNielsen10101 October 27, 2022

Optimized weekday after-work game plan 

Recent studies show that after leaving your 9-5, the most optimal way to spend your evening is eating Chipotle and getting a blowjob. This is statistically shown to increase levels of serotonin, endorphins, dopamine, and oxytocin.

Person 1 - Hey man, are you executing the optimized weekday after-work game plan?
Person 2 - Of course brother. I'm picking up 2 orders of chipotle at 6. Girlfriend is coming over at 6:30!

Optimized weekday after-work game plan by iMonkeyBIZ February 9, 2020