Objectivia
"Objectiva" is a fictitious pharmaceutical prescribed to reporters and journalists, which can reduce their need to introduce bias, partisanship, and political spin into their reporting. Side effects include increased objectivity, accuracy in reporting, a reduction in the urge to introduce false or politically motivated narratives, and better sleep.
The journalist was tasked to prepare an honest and objective report about recent incidents at the protest; so she was prescribed 200mgs of Objectivia, once daily, so she would be able to produce an objective column about a recent protest.
Objectivia by News Contributor July 24, 2026
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