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Microsoft Excel 

Software created by Microsoft that non-technical people use instead of a database, or cheap companies use as a crappy application studio.
We have 6,000 Microsoft Excel files out there that are exactly identical in reference to the type of data they store. It would be perfect for a database, but we use Excel because the web server we store them on is already paid for by another department and we don't want to pay for a database.

Microsoft Excel VBA applications need to die. You will never get a real programmer to stay around if all you want them to do is build VBA applications with that shit because you are too cheap to buy Visual Studio. This may be why your turnover is so high or your developers lack motivation and ambition to do real work.

My shitty job wants me to program in VBScript and Microsoft Excel VBA. I am looking for a new job because I value my skills and wish to avoid Excel hell.

microscopic business

A business smaller than a micro-business. A microscopic business has only one or two employees and its headquarters building is so small you can't even see it.
I want you to take a tour of my microscopic business Tiny Electronics.
microscopic business by PWS27 April 8, 2017

Microsoft Team Moron 

A person, usually picked by the boss to ride herd over an otherwise productive team and tattle on any members that aren't chanting the party line and ready to slit their own throats for diversity.
They are champions of the "we" concept because they are too stupid to have any thoughts or vision on their own.
They follow management edicts to the letter no matter how stupid. They avoid confrontation and are quick to agree with anyone, but only to their face, they always rat you out to upper management.
In the dictionary under dim-witted user it says: "see them".
willis agreed with John when he told her the new management plan was never going to work, and outlined the problems. Later we found she was named microsoft team moron for ratting him out to upper management and getting him demoted, now no one on the team will discuss anything with her so she's recruited spies withing the team.

Microsoft Teams 

The most glitchy app used for distance learning for the COVID-19 Pandemic. Has broken an uncountable amount of students hearts and is guaranteed to not let at least one person in a meeting for every class meeting that exists.
Student- WTF?! I turned in my final but it doesn't show up on Microsoft Teams?!

Teacher- Well I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do about that, I guess it just happens...

Student- Am I going to be able to make this up?

Teacher- Um, no, of course not
Microsoft Teams by MansoM November 5, 2020

Microsoft Word 

a shit piece of tech that ate my FUCKING essay.
Me talking to microsoft word after it ate my fucking essay:"GIVE IT BACK WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO YOU?!!?!?!? I FUCKING NEEDED THAT YOU PILE OF HORSE FECES"
Microsoft Word by (ಠ_ಠ) May 27, 2018

My dad Owns Microsoft 

The Signature Phrase for any 11-12 year old in an attempt to try to flex what they don't have. These kids are mostly on xbox and/or minecraft
Man:*Winning against child*
Kid: Your a hacker, my dad owns microsoft
More from Urban Dictionary
A seemingly endless debate with a idiot
I don't know man im not ready for yap trap stupidity today which always tries to suck you into it
Yap Trap by WolfieSnack November 4, 2026
Word of the Day on November 5, 2026
Texas is categorized as a swing state in presidential elections, but has voted for Republicans more times than for Democrats in recent history. As such, as demographics change political alignments, some Democrats believe that Texas will vote blue, or Democratic, due to their Hispanic and African American voters, who often align themselves with the Democratic Party's liberal wing.

Blexas has been cited as possible in the upcoming decades, but only if Democrats continue to win the Hispanic vote in bigger margins.
Democrat 1: What is your prediction for the 2024 presidential election?
Democrat 2: Well uh, Blexas!
Democrat 1: You've been saying that since 2008 though.
Blexas by Tritonist June 14, 2021
Word of the Day on November 4, 2026

briefcake 

"Did you check out the briefcake in courtroom C?"
briefcake by Ben Frey April 6, 2006
Word of the Day on November 3, 2026
Brought to public attention by Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein in the book on the fall of Richard Nixon, All The President’s Men, ratfucker was Nixon’s term for a political operative who sows chaos among opponents; an agent provocateur. It is thought to have originated among campus political rivalries at USC, and seems to have some usage in the US military.
Along with Nixon’s other ratfuckers, Roger Stone caused fights at otherwise peaceful Democratic Party protests to generate a false narrative that the Democrats were violent and dangerous.
Ratfucker by Ricky Ramjet November 2, 2017
Word of the Day on November 2, 2026

countrypolitan 

Term used to describe someone who is a mix of both rural (country) and urban (metropolitan) lifestyles/upbringings. He/she is typically equally comfortable in both settings and is able to seamlessly slip back and forth between the two, appreciating the characteristics of each.
That ol' gal of mine drives the 12 lane freeway during the week and a John Deere on the weekends. She likes opra and the Grand Ol' Opry. I love them countrypolitan women.
countrypolitan by MOChick November 7, 2006
Word of the Day on November 1, 2026

Witch Bath 

A bath consisting of a variety of slats, oils, soaps or any other added ingredients such as fruits, milks, herbs or any other spices for health or beautifying benifits.
She brought home alot of stuff and took it to the bathroom. She must be taking a witch bath.
Witch Bath by carnieboy30 October 26, 2020
Word of the Day on October 31, 2026
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