Methsturbate 

The act of masturbating while high on methamphetamine.

Methsturbate — the act of beating meat for hours, or even days on end while zapped, zoinked, and zooted.

Methsturbate by Dr. Numbutt Sphincterstein May 16, 2019

mathturbate 

Doing math homework or writing a math portfolio (especially for IB) that is so EXCITING that you feel sexually stimulated in the process and have an orgasm once you're done.

Alan: Sorry man, I can't go see "I Am Legend" with you guys tonight because of this stupid IB HL Math Portfolio on the Koch Snowflake that I have to write...

Barzeen: Don't even bullshit me, Alan, I know you're just gonna jack off all night anyway.

Alan: Well, you're kinda right. I'm gonna mathturbate.

mathturbate by aredotwice January 6, 2008

methturbating 

The act of masturbating, high on methamphetamine s.

Jim was too busy methturbating to answer the phone.

methturbating by thugnasty24 December 19, 2009

Mathsterbate 

To require kleenex after mathematical gratification

Sophia helped Luke mathsterbate, then swallowed his cumulative frequency

Mathsterbate by Tom and Sarah July 28, 2008

mattsturbate 

Manual sexual gratification inflicted by your own hand while thinking of or watching someone with the name Matt.

Thinking about Matthew McConaughey playing his bongos naked made me so horny that I had to go into the bathroom and mattsturbate.

mattsturbate by Aggggggggggg January 10, 2011

mathsturbation

1. In an attempt to prove a point, gathering and assembling data in such a way that one only convinces oneself of its validity
2. Trying to justify an incorrect opinion, statement, or assumption, by manipulating available data in a way that is only satisfying to the person with the incorrect opinion, statement, or assumption.

He rattled off a bunch of obscure statistics to defend his vote on the stimulus package, but it was all mathsturbation.

mathsturbation by RVLambo February 1, 2009

metsturbating 

A New York Mets fan who sounds like he or she is having an orgasm while cheering for the Mets

It was hard watching the Mets game at the bar as the person next to me was constantly metsturbating and I couldn't hear the announcers.

metsturbating by Ahmnodt Heare March 21, 2010