masturbates
pulral of masturbat
masturbates by jessica March 16, 2005
Urban Dictionary Merch
Your favorite words on things you can wear, drink from, read, or give to a friend.
The Urban Dictionary Store sells gifts you’ll have to explain.
masturbates furiously
Dude, wtf was Crowley doing this morning?
He was in early. He masturbates furiously when nobody is around... I wouldn't use that computer if I were you.
He was in early. He masturbates furiously when nobody is around... I wouldn't use that computer if I were you.
masturbates furiously by 4th, disgusted March 6, 2008
masturbates furiously
masturbates furiously by hat November 4, 2004
Joseph Medill Patterson Masturbates In front On School Outside
masturbate and switch
Masturbate and switch — the erotic KINK of having sex with one person while thinking of another; or, of talking dirty to a sexual partner and allowing them to verbally — either from your mouth or theirs — acknowledge deep sexual attraction for another person; or, for an extreme sexual scenario.
This is not a practice for the sexually insecure — unless insecurity is your particular KINK!!!!!
On the one hand, if one wants to enjoy the depth sexuality of another, the partner has to be made to feel comfortable physically, mentally and spiritually.
On the other hand, one would have to ask if their ego is strong enough to facilitate the unbridled sexuality and fantasy life of another.
Well…you don’t hit home runs unless you swing for the fences. And, on the other hand, if you swing too hard and miss YOU CAN STRIKE OUT!!!!!!
Unless you are a “sex-pert” DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!!!!
But if you are ever semi-single in Negril at a Club Med — and you didn’t hear this from me — give it a shot!!!!!!!
Remember: NOT A PRACTICE FOR THE SEXUALLY TIMID AND INSECURE!!!!!!
This is not a practice for the sexually insecure — unless insecurity is your particular KINK!!!!!
On the one hand, if one wants to enjoy the depth sexuality of another, the partner has to be made to feel comfortable physically, mentally and spiritually.
On the other hand, one would have to ask if their ego is strong enough to facilitate the unbridled sexuality and fantasy life of another.
Well…you don’t hit home runs unless you swing for the fences. And, on the other hand, if you swing too hard and miss YOU CAN STRIKE OUT!!!!!!
Unless you are a “sex-pert” DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME!!!!!!!
But if you are ever semi-single in Negril at a Club Med — and you didn’t hear this from me — give it a shot!!!!!!!
Remember: NOT A PRACTICE FOR THE SEXUALLY TIMID AND INSECURE!!!!!!
Him: Wow, that was a quick orgasm, babe!!! You must have been really horny.
Her: Naw. I did a masturbate and switch and IT GOT REALLY GOOD TO ME!!!!!!
Him: Tell me what you were thinking so I can masturbate and switch, too!!!!!!!!!
Her: Naw. I did a masturbate and switch and IT GOT REALLY GOOD TO ME!!!!!!
Him: Tell me what you were thinking so I can masturbate and switch, too!!!!!!!!!
masturbate and switch by Mind Hunter the Profiler June 21, 2023
Masturbetes
a common yet often undiagnosed disease normally developed in but not limited to the late teens, namely freshman year of college. Although it can be seen in the rare female case, Masturbetes affects mainly males. This disease causes the testicles to produce large amounts of semen and testosterone, thus causing a drastic peak in the sexual desire and arousal of the afflicted male, who is scientifically referred to as a Masturbetic. The most common treatment is excessive masturbation, usually accompanied by the viewing of pornographic materials. Another symptom is increased aggressive behavior towards the female sex mostly in an attempt to receive a sort of assisted treatment from said female. Rejection can lead to the Maturbetic engaging in further self-treatment. Ejaculation reduces elevated sexual desire and semen in Masturbetics, similar to how insulin shots decrease abnormally high blood sugar in diabetics. Severe cases call for around 3-5 rounds of intense treatment to curb desire and reduce the amount of semen to normal levels. Lubrication is advised in such cases to avoid irritation of the penile region.
"Dude...I just went to the doctor, and I got diagnosed with masturbetes..."
"That's why you jerk off so much! that sucks man"
"Not really, I got a doctor's note, and now that I'm a Masturbetic, I can slap my johnson in class"
"That's why you jerk off so much! that sucks man"
"Not really, I got a doctor's note, and now that I'm a Masturbetic, I can slap my johnson in class"
Masturbetes by FroknKoko December 3, 2011
Masturbaker's dozen
The pinnacle of all dedicated feckless cum-shedders whereby the participant aims to ejaculate more than 13 times in a 24 hour period. 13 loads in generally accepted by industry insiders as being the level that separates the men from the boys.
'I did it , I did the masturbaker's dozen! Admittedly the last six were with a floppy and the jizz was purely gaseous, but by golly I finally did it. Now it's off to the doctor for me to get some ointment for the blisters and tennis elbow..'
Masturbaker's dozen by Anonymous submissions December 10, 2016
More from Urban Dictionary
Oblication
So Joe where are you taking the kids for spring break vacation? We are going on an oblication to Boca to visit my mother-in-law.
Oblication by kimmerr May 5, 2011
Word of the Day on October 25, 2026
Surf Dracula Syndrome
A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.
For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!
Surf Dracula Syndrome by AOmundson June 18, 2023
Word of the Day on October 24, 2026
Northstarring
Finding your way back to the truth by fixing on one verified fact and working out from there, the way you navigate by the North Star when everything around you is spinning.
Northstarring by Light Bearer October 22, 2026
Word of the Day on October 23, 2026
Plate of Brown
A plate of brown consists of foods that have little to no nutritional value, and are typically deep fried. A true plate of brown will also be accompanied by a dark soda.
Plate of Brown by Cheddar Craigson September 18, 2020
Word of the Day on October 22, 2026
Larpenomics
When finance content creators rent out fancy cars and flex cash to seem richer than they really are in order to promote and sell their “get rich quick” courses.
Larpenomics by Rbois09 October 21, 2026
Word of the Day on October 21, 2026
Palmela Handerson
Your hand that you masturbate with.
Girlfriend: What are you going to do for the next week while I'm on holiday?
Boyfriend: Have a visit from Palmela Handerson of course!
Boyfriend: Have a visit from Palmela Handerson of course!
Palmela Handerson by One eyed wombat June 13, 2018
Word of the Day on October 20, 2026