1. An unfathomable moron
The word JackMonkey was origonally a derivative of "jack off" that was created in a moment of absolute frustration. The defining factor of a JackMonkey is their inability to grasp even the simplest concepts that are new to them.
I tried to teach that JackMonkey to tie his shoes but all he managed to do was get his fingersstuck in knots.
When a man jerks off whilst on facebook. He may or may not have an additional tab opened with porn. Can stem from the combined need for social attention and control over one's own life.
Torre knew he would have to conceal his jackbooking problem from everyone, yet he still got a disturbing thrill from masturbating while on facebook.
"I can't believe Russ is a manager now."
"I know. He's such a douchebag. Did I tell you that after we slept together, he took off the condom and drank its contents?"
"Wow. What a jackmonk."