Henry VII 

A man who was overlooked father of Henry VIII, had one wife, who he had a better relationship with than his son had with any of his wives, beat Richard III and ended The War of the Roses. Was a very meticulous man and careful with who he trusted, for a while he only trusted his mum, Lady Margaret Beaufort, not to kill him and take the throne.

You hear a lot about Henry VIII, but never much about his dad Henry VII.

Henry VII by BlankCanvas742 December 5, 2022

Henry VIII

(1491-1547) A King of England who began as a handsome, sweet-natured prince and became a fat, bloated, lecherous, ruthless, narcissistic tyrant whose split from the Catholic faith to divorce his first wife and marry his second can be felt today.
He married six times, first to Katherine of Aragon (divorced), then to Anne Boleyn (beheaded), then to Jane Seymour (died), then to Anne of Cleves (divorced), then to Katherine Howard (beheaded), and finally to Katherine Parr (survived).
To his credit, he legitimized the crown after decades of the War of the Roses (warring between the two branches of the royal family), but he is remembered today for his lechery and for abusing his wives and his two daughters in a futile effort for a healthy son; only his daughter Elizabeth I would be his saving grace.

After the death of Jane Seymour from childbirth, a new wife was sought for Henry VIII, reaching across Europe, but his reputation preceded him; he chose 16-year-old Christina of Milan first, but the widowed duchess (a great-niece of Katherine of Aragon) refused, saying that she would be happy to marry him if she had two heads. Henry next chose Marie de Guise, another young widow, since "as a big man he needed a big wife"; she rejected his offer and quipped that she may have been a big woman but she had a very little neck (in reference to Anne Boleyn) and she wasted little time in marrying Henry's nephew, James V of Scotland. Anne of Cleves became the first pick as other candidates made excuses or married.
Henry VIII seemed to have a liking for redheads named Katherine, since he married three such women.

Messenger: (to a group of young noblewomen) "His Royal Majesty Henry VIII seeketh another wife."
Young noblewomen: (screaming in horror and stampeding)

Henry VIII by Lorelili September 21, 2011

Henry VIII

Henry VIII was a king of England in the 16th century and head of the Church of England. He had 6 wives: Katherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Jane Seymour, Anne of Cleves, Kathryn Howard, and Catherine Parr.
He called Jane Seymour his "true wife" because she was the only one to give him a son (Edward VI)
Anne Boleyn and Kathryn Howard were beheaded for treason
Katherine of Aragon and Anne of Cleves were divorced.
Catherine Parr was widowed and went on to marry Thomas Seymour.

Shania: How many wives has that guy had?
Anna: I don't know. He's a total Henry VIII

Henry VIII by Lady Anna May 16, 2009

Henry VIII

To bang a girl from behind while making her eat a large ham hock. Proper medieval style!

Sita chomp on my hock then call me Henry VIII!

Henry VIII by I see hock and I eat it November 23, 2019

Henry VIII

A wife killer. Separated the English church from the normal church and also Invaded France on several occasions.

Person: Imma do a Henry VIII on my wife!

Henry VIII by Yourguyfromthebsr March 18, 2022

Henry VIII

the art of cuttin off the head when takin a photo.

Wow man this hot babe sent me a great pic of her rack but its totally Henry VIII.

I cant believe its Henry VIII, but wow those tassles look good....

Henry VIII by Sarah is my GF January 5, 2007

Henry VIII

The greatest pimp of all time.

"He may be a pretty badass pimp, but he has nothing on Henry VIII."

"When he was done with his hoes, Henry VIII did more than just bitch slap them: he bitch decapitated them! What a pimp!"

Henry VIII by OlifromSolly August 10, 2012