Top definition
(1491-1547) A King of England who began as a handsome, sweet-natured prince and became a fat, bloated, lecherous, ruthless, narcissistic tyrant whose split from the Catholic faith to divorce his first wife and marry his second can be felt today.
He married six times, first to Katherine of Aragon (divorced), then to Anne Boleyn (beheaded), then to Jane Seymour (died), then to Anne of Cleves (divorced), then to Katherine Howard (beheaded), and finally to Katherine Parr (survived).
To his credit, he legitimized the crown after decades of the War of the Roses (warring between the two branches of the royal family), but he is remembered today for his lechery and for abusing his wives and his two daughters in a futile effort for a healthy son; only his daughter Elizabeth I would be his saving grace.
After the death of Jane Seymour from childbirth, a new wife was sought for Henry VIII, reaching across Europe, but his reputation preceded him; he chose 16-year-old Christina of Milan first, but the widowed duchess (a great-niece of Katherine of Aragon) refused, saying that she would be happy to marry him if she had two heads. Henry next chose Marie de Guise, another young widow, since "as a big man he needed a big wife"; she rejected his offer and quipped that she may have been a big woman but she had a very little neck (in reference to Anne Boleyn) and she wasted little time in marrying Henry's nephew, James V of Scotland. Anne of Cleves became the first pick as other candidates made excuses or married.
Henry VIII seemed to have a liking for redheads named Katherine, since he married three such women.

Messenger: (to a group of young noblewomen) "His Royal Majesty Henry VIII seeketh another wife."
Young noblewomen: (screaming in horror and stampeding)
by Lorelili September 20, 2011
Get the mug
Get a Henry VIII mug for your guy Zora.
Sep 6 Word of the Day
Style with Ease
Damn that was a steezy ass kickflip son!
by niggaliciouszor April 29, 2007
Get the mug
Get a steezy mug for your cousin Manley.
2
Henry VIII was a king of England in the 16th century and head of the Church of England. He had 6 wives: Katherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, Jane Seymour, Anne of Cleves, Kathryn Howard, and Catherine Parr.
He called Jane Seymour his "true wife" because she was the only one to give him a son (Edward VI)
Anne Boleyn and Kathryn Howard were beheaded for treason
Katherine of Aragon and Anne of Cleves were divorced.
Catherine Parr was widowed and went on to marry Thomas Seymour.
Shania: How many wives has that guy had?
Anna: I don't know. He's a total Henry VIII
by Lady Anna May 16, 2009
Get the mug
Get a Henry VIII mug for your daughter Beatrix.
3
To bang a girl from behind while making her eat a large ham hock. Proper medieval style!
Sita chomp on my hock then call me Henry VIII!
by I see hock and I eat it November 23, 2019
Get the merch
Get the Henry VIII neck gaiter and mug.
4
the art of cuttin off the head when takin a photo.
Wow man this hot babe sent me a great pic of her rack but its totally Henry VIII.

I cant believe its Henry VIII, but wow those tassles look good....
by Sarah is my GF January 03, 2007
Get the merch
Get the Henry VIII neck gaiter and mug.
5
"He may be a pretty badass pimp, but he has nothing on Henry VIII."

"When he was done with his hoes, Henry VIII did more than just bitch slap them: he bitch decapitated them! What a pimp!"
by OlifromSolly March 25, 2012
Get the merch
Get the Henry VIII neck gaiter and mug.
6
stoner: have you got a Henry VIII?
dealer:yeah man. 20 a bag
by cefner la January 23, 2007
Get the merch
Get the Henry VIII neck gaiter and mug.

Activity