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the misfortunate state of having both herpes and hemorrhoids; describing someone who is really really nasty.
hempes by love doc November 8, 2003
Related Words

arse herpes 

The ultimate sexually transmitted disease, suggestive of slutty sexual behaviour.
Mary: “hey you bastard you’ve given me herpes”
Dave: “most likely arse herpes”
arse herpes by Chrish77 August 3, 2019

herpes fuck 

When you knowingly have sex with someone who has herpes or some other sexual transmitted disease solely because they are extremely attractive and/or you are extremely sexually aroused.
"I can't believe you are trying to fuck her!" Jared said
"Why?" Thomas asked, "She's really hot!"
"You remember 'hot-balls Dan'? Who do you think gave him the hot balls? He was warned and he herpes fucked her anyway"
"I'll use a condom, because I am going to herpes fuck her too. She is hot and I have me some blue balls," Thomas retorted.
"'hot-balls Dan' used a condom too," Jared responded, "Her scabs tore a hole in it!"
Thomas said, "Well.... YOLO! I am going to eat that... well maybe not eat it.... but I am going to fuck that pussy!"
herpes fuck by Nutzen YerMouf February 22, 2018

Seaside Herpes 

Seaside herpes are obtained when you follow a trend and go to seaside for spring break and hang around a bunch of people during a pandemic and hook-up with 12 people in one sitting
Oh you went to seaside this spring break?? And you was around Eliza, Ava, Bella, Claire, Chloe, AND ASHLEY???? You got me FUCKKEDDD up if you think imma spend one more second around yo seaside herpes havin basic ass
Seaside Herpes by Traukiee March 15, 2021

mouthal herpes

Herpes of the mouth. Not to be confused by oral herpes, which is entirely different, obviously.
Its main source of distribution is the swapping of generally similar looking bottles.
Sue: Hey Sam, I may have misappropriated my bottle and it looks like yours.

Sam: Oh no, perhaps you now have mouthal herpes. That is not fun.
mouthal herpes by Yourski December 18, 2013

craft herpes

Glitter. Like the STD herpes, once you have glitter on you, you cannot get rid of it. If you have glitter on you and you touch someone, they will suddenly have glitter on them. You may think that you have washed it all off, but one day you will be in the right light and notice it on you somewhere.

There are many forms of craft herpes, including:

+Low-grade chunky - The kind that is usually used in grade school. Easiest of the outbreaks to wash off

+Glitter glue/liquid squeeze on - Harder to wash away than low-grade chunky due to the fact that it is in some form of an adhesive.

+Fine to micro-fine - Commonly called pixie or fairy dust due to it's resemblance to effect used in movies to show the "magic". The hardest form to remove and the easiest to get. It is dust like and is everywhere. Often found at parties, fairs, and anywhere that people dressed as pixies or fairies can be found-usually being blown into crowds of people by the handful.
+"I was at the party when that wanna be raver started spreading craft herpes! I think she threw a bag of fairy dust in the fan!"

+"I thought I'd gotten it all weeks ago but when I looked in the mirror just now, I had a piece of glitter by my eye!"

+"Just when I thought I was safe, this girl came up to me and sprayed me with something. I looked and I was covered with glitter! They have spray on craft herpes now!"
craft herpes by Kitysrblk June 21, 2011
Word of the Day on July 5, 2024
More from Urban Dictionary

proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad
Word of the Day on October 29, 2026
The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022
Word of the Day on October 28, 2026
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
womp by 175623226 November 3, 2011
Word of the Day on October 27, 2026
When your wife’s boyfriend let you sleep past 8pm 😎😎
Wife’s boyfriend: You have 5 more minutes
Me: Poggers!
Poggers by Just_Charles April 14, 2020
Word of the Day on October 26, 2026

Oblication 

A vacation, feeling more like an obligation, that involves visiting or staying with family.
So Joe where are you taking the kids for spring break vacation? We are going on an oblication to Boca to visit my mother-in-law.
Oblication by kimmerr May 5, 2011
Word of the Day on October 25, 2026
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