Skip to main content
GoonTard - a Portmanteau of Gooner and Retarded. Used to refer to a Chronic Compulsive Masturbator who jerks off for hours and hours and hours every day. He eventually becomes a stupid gooner and looks like he's retarded because his brain has shut down all but core functions. Most guys consider them Idiots and Morons because they have no goals or ambition other than to masturbate all day long, usually on the internet where anyone can see them.
Tim: Hey Ryan, I heard your older brother is a GoonTard

Ryan: Yeah, he's a Total GoonTard.

Tim: Does he really do nothing but masturbate all day?

Ryan: Yeah, mom and dad have given up on him. He hasn't left his sroom in 3 months, so they just slide a plate of food in there once a day.

Tim: Sorry bro.

Ryan: Yeah Me too. I'm afraid I'm gonna become a GoonTard too.
Goontard by Antonio El Pajero July 31, 2020
Related Words

Goonga Galoonga 

A phrase that someone may use to express deep shock or excitement.
1: I lost 50 pounds on weight watchers!

2: GOONGA GALOONGA!!!! You look amazing!
Goonga Galoonga by JettaPussy October 7, 2018
The battle cry of TMNT character and masked vigilante, Casey Jones.
"It's time to fight! GOONGALA!"
goongala by Kraul January 12, 2004

Goonware 

Goonware is just like ransomware, but the main purpose is to irritate. References to an online multiplayer game where the term originated from.
"Hey bro I downloaded the Fairfax light client for new hacks", "wait bro, my computer is flashing and blaring loud clown honk noises"

"Hey bro sounds like you have goonware on your computer"
Goonware by modpodgec December 16, 2020

goonga no 

A word used as succession and proud of the completion in the moongas it also is the opposite of the hugely racist phrase moonga no and goonga yes
Goonga: I hate you
Moona: Goonga no
Goonga: *Dies*
goonga no by MC2T April 15, 2019
A tall woman over 5'10". Goontars are usually physically threatening, but are not necessarily fat. Guys who are attracted to them are called "goontar slayers" and are ready to draw their swords whenever a big woman is near. Not all are unattractive and are called "slayable goontars".
Laurie is such a goontar. She could probably play linebacker for the Bears.
goontar by shitballcity October 27, 2009