Fig Newtons

The pathetic substitute for real cookies like oreos or chips ahoy. Often bought by overprotective, health-conscious mothers.

-Hey little Johnny, do you want dessert?

-Ya mom! What's there to eat?

-Fig Newtons

-Fig Newtons? Fuck you, mom.

by Barnaby J. August 8, 2008

Fig Newtons

A term for marijuana.

Chris: Hey dude, you wanna eat some Fig Newtons later?
Zak: Sure!

by yellowfeather996 November 2, 2009

Fig Newton

Replacement term for the F word referring to homosexuals, does not sting as much when used negatively.

"Quit being a fig newton, I'm trying to watch the stream"

by Fundabz June 7, 2013

Fig Newton

The most godly food in the universe. The greatest cookie thinger ever. It contains the jam of figs and is covered by a chewy cake bread.

Kevin, eat this fig newton because you are stupid.

by BDALE4LIFE September 26, 2005

Fig Newton

A nice way to say faggot with out disrespecting somebody.

Dude you're such a Fig Newton!

by CIZE June 7, 2013

fig newton

as defined by Stewie Griffin "It's like an orgy in my mouth"

I ate a fig newton and it was like an orgy in my mouth.

by Ryan Comedic INC October 15, 2006

fig newton

the most addicting cookie ever on the planet earth

I just ate a whole bag of fig newtons

by misaki December 28, 2005