N. a faux phone call, or a phone call where there is in fact nobody on the other side, where one holds their cell phone to their ear and goes off on a monologue, often times pausing or gesticulating in order to imply a conversation. Often times used when loitering for extended periods to make it appear as though you are waiting for somebody or are doing something other than standing around aimlessly.
Can also be used to alleviate the awkwardness of walking down a long street towards another you may not know or do not want to talk to, pretending to be on a call can provide an excuse not to talk to interact with the person.
I was at the store and I saw my ex from a couple years back checking out. I immediately whipped out my phone and began a fauxn call until she left.
I was waiting to get picked up outside 7/11 and rather than stand about shadily I started up a fauxn call and began a convincing soliloquy until my ride arrived.
A person obsesed with the Twilight movies who may or may not have read the actual books. Only like the series because of Taylor Lautner's frequent half-nudity in the films, or because they drool at the sight of Robert Pattinson. (Note: usually a (pre)teen girl, but can also be boys with a fetish for Kristen Stewart.) The opposite of a TrueLight Fan.
Fan 1: OMJ JUST SAW NEW MOON TAYLOR IS SOOOOOOOO HAWT!!!!!!! TEAM JACOB ALL THA WAY <3 <3 <3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fan 2: OMC U SUCK TEAM EDWARD PWNS!!! FUTURE MRS. CULLEN RITE HERRE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111
Relationship status for a person who represents themselves as being Single on a social media platform, but in reality is too chickenshit to admit to being in a long-term domestic relationship / long-term open marriage... due to severely restricted dating opportunities and 'uncool' social stigma.
When one sits on the john for some amount of time before realizing they cannot release their fecal matter. The cause is sometimes constipation. However this is not always the case; the cause may be unknown. It is not uncommon for one to release gas during this period of time. Time elapsed before the epiphany varies greatly, experts suggest times from 1 minute all the way to a rare case in Japan in which the subject took over 27 hours (exact time is unknown). The mean is 11 minutes. The standard deviation, or σ, is approximately 7 minutes. Time does vary between species and sex.
(Whilst watching a football game)
John: Brb, I gotta take a dump. *10 minutes later*
Henry: Dude wtf are you doing? You just missed Janet Jackson's boob!
John: Damn I can't shit!
Henry: Oh man, you must have a case of Faux Defecation
(n.) A vacation that is neither restful nor restorative. Frequently occurs during holiday trips when either work or family obligations affect one's ability to relax.
After our dog ate our host's couch, we were on fauxcation.
My mother's endless nagging turned our beachtrip into fauxcation.
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
A phenomenon in film/television series, most notably streaming series, where the main premise is drawn out to such a point that it takes an entire season or more to get the parts of the series the audience is actually interested in seeing.
For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!
Finding your way back to the truth by fixing on one verified fact and working out from there, the way you navigate by the North Star when everything around you is spinning.
Rumours were flying everywhere, so she went northstarring — one checked fact at a time.