An incredibly successful and completely legitimate way to ensure a Female is attracted to you.

The first step is relatively easy. Put a two slices of Toast in an envelope with the female's name on it.

Step two requires patience; requiring a 48 hour period of zero contact until the female gives back the envelope. Do not open the envelope again until you're in a secure environment.

If step two was performed successfully, the envelope should now contain nude pics of your target.

Step three requires speaking to her alone using a secret code:

If you ask: "Is the peanut butter in the potato?" and she answers with: "No it is in the apple sauce.", then the Toast/Envelope Method was performed successfully and you can continue your courtship on your own terms.
Alternatively, if you are kicked in the testicles upon uttering the code, it is safe to say she is not interested.

I met my last 20 lady friends utilizing the Toast/Envelope Method. It's outrageously successful!

Toast/Envelope Method by Seraph094 August 9, 2012

Related Words

Envlope • envelope • #EnvelopeGate • Enclopedia Dramatica • Enlope • envelopean • envelope emoji • Envelope Face • envelope licker • Envelope Titties

brown envelope

A euphemism for a bribe (UK).

Politicians don't do jack unless they get their brown envelopes!

brown envelope by KMorgan April 3, 2015

Pimp Envelope

A mailing device used by pimps for both official and unofficial business. Usually made of paper and sealed with pimp juice.

After she swallowed too much pimp juice R Kelly sent his hoe a get well card in a pimp envelope.

Pimp Envelope by Lil' Wang August 22, 2010

Magic Envelope

The hidden file on a computer where the user hides their porn.

"I'm grounded for a month because my mom found my magic envelope with all my BDSM stuff in it."

Magic Envelope by Roflcopter505 October 5, 2011

sticky envelope

When you having sex doggy style and when your about to cum, you pull out and jizz in her butt crack and then smash her butt cheeks together.

Tom and jane where having sex when tom gave jane a sticky envelope

sticky envelope by jebusmckrackin July 9, 2014

Sealed Envelope

An act performed immediately after sex; moments before achieving male orgasm, the man pulls out and shoots his load into the crevice of the girls ass. Afterwards, he presses her ass cheeks together for an undetermined amount of time. When he lets go, her cheeks will be stuck together, thus forming a sealed envelope.

After mom went to work, I shot my load between Van's ass cheeks and gave her a sealed envelope. She was waddling around like a penguin.

Sealed Envelope by D.H.G. October 18, 2008

murderhobo

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.

DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.

murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021

Word of the Day on September 22, 2026

Whale

In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.

"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."

Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020

Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.

Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.

Concrete cowboy by EugeneJohnson42000 March 16, 2024

Word of the Day on September 20, 2026

hobo loko

any hard liquor that is cheap & potent.. eg. relska, popov, potters, evan williams, kamchatka, fireball, rumpleminze, southern comfort, everclear

hey let's get a drink of that?

go ahead
*takes drink* ugh wtf is that?

everclear & bepsi
fucking hobo loko eeessshh

hobo loko by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026

Word of the Day on September 19, 2026

God Shot

A chance happening with profound meaning, an unexpected blessing, a "sign".

Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab said "All of a sudden what had been just another Hollywood proposal became for him an unexpected blessing, an opportunity for growth. In drug recovery language, that's called a "God shot."

God Shot by Imogen1564 February 25, 2011

Word of the Day on September 18, 2026

city chicken

A food native to Pittsburgh/Western Pennsylvania in which cubes of pork and/or veal are put on a short, wooden skewer, breaded, then baked and/or fried.

I've heard that city chicken originated during the Great Depression, when folks didn't have enough money to buy full cuts of meat, so they assembled meat scraps on a wooden skewer, creating a make-shift drumstick. Hence the name.

Are yinz havin' city chicken for dinner?

city chicken by TRF August 31, 2006

Word of the Day on September 17, 2026