When you're ready to go out but just pop to the toilet quickly before you leave and end up having a really long poo that results in you being late.
by LunarYearOfTheSheep January 30, 2015
Get the Distracturd mug.the act of prolonging the ejaculatory urge by self-inflicted reverse psychology; used in preparatory measures to last longer in bed
Tim, she expects you to be active in distracturbation...it's porn star season.
Is dad there?
No, he's using mom for distracturbation.
Hey tim, distracturbation is cooler when we do it to each other.
Is dad there?
No, he's using mom for distracturbation.
Hey tim, distracturbation is cooler when we do it to each other.
by Nigel B. Wellington III May 10, 2011
Get the distracturbation mug.Related Words
Diverted attention while ambulating by foot which can lead to accidents. Causes may include the use of an electronic device, or looking at people or things in the vicinity.
"My friend walked into a fountain at the mall while texting on her smartphone. It was a distracted walking situation."
by yes juanito yes August 20, 2014
Get the distracted walking mug.I'm totally failing Intro to Bio Science because I am distracted by this sweet piece of chippy that wears low-riding jeans and thongs EVERYDAY.
by Dr.Rob Jones July 4, 2008
Get the distracted mug.Diverted attention while operating a motor vehicle which can lead to accidents. Causes may include use of an electronic device or smartphone, eating or drinking, or active children inside a moving automobile.
by yes juanito yes August 8, 2014
Get the distracted driving mug.The "Distracted consciousness" differs from the Marxist idea of "false consciousness" in as much as the individual suffering from this state of distraction is no longer fully aware of life around them: they have become a human doing, no longer a human being.
Excerpt taken from 'The Girl with No Mobile Phone', by author Tom Conrad.
“The girl with no mobile phone had never herself seen fit to buy a mobile phone (in all her life) – being not only against them as invaders of privacy, but moreover, viewing mobile phones as symbols of the wider “distracted consciousness”: a curse now plaguing mankind far and wide. In fact, the girl with no mobile phone constantly witnessed many of her peers fingering away (not the good sort of fingering, either), just another distracted soul startled by the desperateness of existence, looking to fill every single waking and terrifying moment of their life with some pointless textual distraction, instead of just confronting and embracing the stillness, just taking a moment to actually think, reflect and be a human being, not a human doing.”
Alternative use:
‘Like OMFG, dude had been playing GTA5 for five days straight before he got up, left his apartment and tried to jack a car by throwing a musical triangle at them.’
‘A musical triangle?’
‘Yeah the thing that goes ding.’
‘Shit, that dude is distracted.’
‘No shit, he's suffering from the distracted consciousness!’
“The girl with no mobile phone had never herself seen fit to buy a mobile phone (in all her life) – being not only against them as invaders of privacy, but moreover, viewing mobile phones as symbols of the wider “distracted consciousness”: a curse now plaguing mankind far and wide. In fact, the girl with no mobile phone constantly witnessed many of her peers fingering away (not the good sort of fingering, either), just another distracted soul startled by the desperateness of existence, looking to fill every single waking and terrifying moment of their life with some pointless textual distraction, instead of just confronting and embracing the stillness, just taking a moment to actually think, reflect and be a human being, not a human doing.”
Alternative use:
‘Like OMFG, dude had been playing GTA5 for five days straight before he got up, left his apartment and tried to jack a car by throwing a musical triangle at them.’
‘A musical triangle?’
‘Yeah the thing that goes ding.’
‘Shit, that dude is distracted.’
‘No shit, he's suffering from the distracted consciousness!’
by Tom Conrad October 8, 2013
Get the Distracted Consciousness mug.When a bully or a narker makes a statement about themselves to distract others from a fact or truth someone just said --- by the time the bully / narker is done speaking, everyone has forgotten what was previously discussed...much like extreme weather changes, it leaves people confused and can cause physical headaches and nausea.
Dammit! --- Martin did it again --- his distractoid about his role as a brand champion made us forget the topic at hand, and, strangely, everyone was a little nauseous after he spoke....the meeting was quickly adjourned.
by Cnlefae April 23, 2017
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