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Distracturd 

When you're ready to go out but just pop to the toilet quickly before you leave and end up having a really long poo that results in you being late.
'Sorry I didn't get here on time, mate. I got distracturd'
Distracturd by LunarYearOfTheSheep January 30, 2015
Words you can keep

distracturbation

the act of prolonging the ejaculatory urge by self-inflicted reverse psychology; used in preparatory measures to last longer in bed
Tim, she expects you to be active in distracturbation...it's porn star season.

Is dad there?
No, he's using mom for distracturbation.

Hey tim, distracturbation is cooler when we do it to each other.

distracted walking 

Diverted attention while ambulating by foot which can lead to accidents. Causes may include the use of an electronic device, or looking at people or things in the vicinity.
"My friend walked into a fountain at the mall while texting on her smartphone. It was a distracted walking situation."

distracted 

When you are in class and the girl in front of you is wearing a thong.
I'm totally failing Intro to Bio Science because I am distracted by this sweet piece of chippy that wears low-riding jeans and thongs EVERYDAY.
distracted by Dr.Rob Jones July 4, 2008

distracted driving

Diverted attention while operating a motor vehicle which can lead to accidents. Causes may include use of an electronic device or smartphone, eating or drinking, or active children inside a moving automobile.
Reporter: "Distracted driving has become a major safety issue on our roads and freeways."

Distracted Consciousness 

The "Distracted consciousness" differs from the Marxist idea of "false consciousness" in as much as the individual suffering from this state of distraction is no longer fully aware of life around them: they have become a human doing, no longer a human being.
Excerpt taken from 'The Girl with No Mobile Phone', by author Tom Conrad.

“The girl with no mobile phone had never herself seen fit to buy a mobile phone (in all her life) – being not only against them as invaders of privacy, but moreover, viewing mobile phones as symbols of the wider “distracted consciousness”: a curse now plaguing mankind far and wide. In fact, the girl with no mobile phone constantly witnessed many of her peers fingering away (not the good sort of fingering, either), just another distracted soul startled by the desperateness of existence, looking to fill every single waking and terrifying moment of their life with some pointless textual distraction, instead of just confronting and embracing the stillness, just taking a moment to actually think, reflect and be a human being, not a human doing.”

Alternative use:

Like OMFG, dude had been playing GTA5 for five days straight before he got up, left his apartment and tried to jack a car by throwing a musical triangle at them.’

‘A musical triangle?’

‘Yeah the thing that goes ding.’

‘Shit, that dude is distracted.’

‘No shit, he's suffering from the distracted consciousness!’

distractoid 

When a bully or a narker makes a statement about themselves to distract others from a fact or truth someone just said --- by the time the bully / narker is done speaking, everyone has forgotten what was previously discussed...much like extreme weather changes, it leaves people confused and can cause physical headaches and nausea.
Dammit! --- Martin did it again --- his distractoid about his role as a brand champion made us forget the topic at hand, and, strangely, everyone was a little nauseous after he spoke....the meeting was quickly adjourned.
distractoid by Cnlefae April 23, 2017
More from Urban Dictionary
Acronym, meaning Too Long Didn't Understand
Similar to TLDR
Sister: This meeting was to discuss the rough draft of my essay, where we discussed the subsidiary questions I added in my rough draft. We also discussed the relationship between my main title and the real-life situations I chose to use in my essay. We discussed the structure of my essay as well, specifically the Math AOK section and how it relates to the contradiction of the title. This second meeting was particularly helpful in discussing the implications of my essay claims and how to apply the title across various areas of knowledge. There were many sections of the essay that could have been cut down in wordiness and the ways of knowing required further and more in-depth analysis.

Me: Woah! TLDU!
TLDU by L-Evans January 14, 2019
Word of the Day on August 30, 2026
the act of having anonymous sexual encounters with other men in public toilets.
Cottaging by greeef April 24, 2003
Word of the Day on August 29, 2026

Salad Days 

green inexperienced youthful judgement and cold blooded execution of those judgements.

Rashness with little concern of consequence.

Antony and Cleopatra. William Shakespeare

"My salad days,
When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."

- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, 1.5
"How did you end up in jail?"

"Salad days, 'nuf said."
Salad Days by GilbyRFC0 October 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 28, 2026

age gate 

An absolutely foolproof way to keep minors from viewing content deemed "too mature" for them to watch.
Billy: "So I was trying to watch some videos for an M rated game, and I ran into an age gate, so I put in my real birthday. SOMEHOW it managed to figure out that I am 12. CURSE YOU AGE GATE!!!"

Bill: "Fucking age gate! *quick scroll* THERE! I was born on January 1, 1904. Fuck you age gate."
age gate by Banja January 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 27, 2026

board chow 

A)
The Crud that collects under the keys in a keyboard. Usually more severe in the keyboards of programmers and webmasters as they tend to spend a lot of time at the the computer and thus eat at their desk. Mainly affecting IBM Model M (clicly) style boards.

B)
Can also be used to gross out Non-Techie people
A)
Bill: want to go to the club?
Bob: No, I've got to clean out my board chow, keys are starting to stick.

B)
Bill: Want to go out to get a bite?
Bob: No, i am just going to have some of my board chow/
Bill: Whats' that?
Bob: The food scraps that collect in my keyboard; Want some?
Bill: *GAG* *HURL* *GAG*
board chow by BinaryHackerMan September 3, 2007
Word of the Day on August 26, 2026

young pup 

a young person, a young adult in their late teens/early 20s.
Ah, you're just a young pup at 23!
young pup by the dog May 30, 2006
Word of the Day on August 25, 2026
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