Distracturd 

When you're ready to go out but just pop to the toilet quickly before you leave and end up having a really long poo that results in you being late.

'Sorry I didn't get here on time, mate. I got distracturd'

Distracturd by LunarYearOfTheSheep January 30, 2015

distracturbation

the act of prolonging the ejaculatory urge by self-inflicted reverse psychology; used in preparatory measures to last longer in bed

Tim, she expects you to be active in distracturbation...it's porn star season.

Is dad there?
No, he's using mom for distracturbation.

Hey tim, distracturbation is cooler when we do it to each other.

distracturbation by Nigel B. Wellington III May 10, 2011

distracted walking 

Diverted attention while ambulating by foot which can lead to accidents. Causes may include the use of an electronic device, or looking at people or things in the vicinity.

"My friend walked into a fountain at the mall while texting on her smartphone. It was a distracted walking situation."

distracted walking by yes juanito yes August 20, 2014

distracted 

When you are in class and the girl in front of you is wearing a thong.

I'm totally failing Intro to Bio Science because I am distracted by this sweet piece of chippy that wears low-riding jeans and thongs EVERYDAY.

distracted by Dr.Rob Jones July 4, 2008

distracted driving

Diverted attention while operating a motor vehicle which can lead to accidents. Causes may include use of an electronic device or smartphone, eating or drinking, or active children inside a moving automobile.

Reporter: "Distracted driving has become a major safety issue on our roads and freeways."

distracted driving by yes juanito yes August 8, 2014

Distracted Consciousness 

The "Distracted consciousness" differs from the Marxist idea of "false consciousness" in as much as the individual suffering from this state of distraction is no longer fully aware of life around them: they have become a human doing, no longer a human being.

Excerpt taken from 'The Girl with No Mobile Phone', by author Tom Conrad.

“The girl with no mobile phone had never herself seen fit to buy a mobile phone (in all her life) – being not only against them as invaders of privacy, but moreover, viewing mobile phones as symbols of the wider “distracted consciousness”: a curse now plaguing mankind far and wide. In fact, the girl with no mobile phone constantly witnessed many of her peers fingering away (not the good sort of fingering, either), just another distracted soul startled by the desperateness of existence, looking to fill every single waking and terrifying moment of their life with some pointless textual distraction, instead of just confronting and embracing the stillness, just taking a moment to actually think, reflect and be a human being, not a human doing.”

Alternative use:

‘Like OMFG, dude had been playing GTA5 for five days straight before he got up, left his apartment and tried to jack a car by throwing a musical triangle at them.’

‘A musical triangle?’

‘Yeah the thing that goes ding.’

‘Shit, that dude is distracted.’

‘No shit, he's suffering from the distracted consciousness!’

Distracted Consciousness by Tom Conrad October 8, 2013

distractoid 

When a bully or a narker makes a statement about themselves to distract others from a fact or truth someone just said --- by the time the bully / narker is done speaking, everyone has forgotten what was previously discussed...much like extreme weather changes, it leaves people confused and can cause physical headaches and nausea.

Dammit! --- Martin did it again --- his distractoid about his role as a brand champion made us forget the topic at hand, and, strangely, everyone was a little nauseous after he spoke....the meeting was quickly adjourned.

distractoid by Cnlefae April 23, 2017