Cuckaphobe
A hardened realist who’s downright allergic to the pointless tango of business small talk and venture capital ass-kissing. A cuckaphobe doesn’t waste time with power lunches, performative networking, or back-patting pleasantries. They’re here for one thing: results. To them, human relations are a necessary evil—like flossing or taxes—and anything that doesn’t directly move the needle is just a waste of oxygen.
A results-obsessed individual with a severe allergy to investors who care more about feeling valued, flirting with danger for the thrill of it, or indulging in the "play of life" than actually delivering results. To a cuckaphobe, these investors aren’t partners—they’re distractions. They despise the theatrics, the self-indulgence, and the weird thrill-seeking disguised as "adventure capital."
Its variants include cuckphobia and cuckery,
A results-obsessed individual with a severe allergy to investors who care more about feeling valued, flirting with danger for the thrill of it, or indulging in the "play of life" than actually delivering results. To a cuckaphobe, these investors aren’t partners—they’re distractions. They despise the theatrics, the self-indulgence, and the weird thrill-seeking disguised as "adventure capital."
Its variants include cuckphobia and cuckery,
His cuckphobia flared up when the investor asked to be on the board just to 'feel closer to the action.' No thanks, buddy."
"Karen told the investors, ‘If you want a founder who golfs, find someone else. If you want to make money, sign here.’ Total cuckaphobe boss energy."
"When the team suggested a weekend retreat to ‘strengthen relationships,’ Dave replied, ‘How about we strengthen the balance sheet instead?’ Classic cuckaphobe shutdown."
"Karen told the investors, ‘If you want a founder who golfs, find someone else. If you want to make money, sign here.’ Total cuckaphobe boss energy."
"When the team suggested a weekend retreat to ‘strengthen relationships,’ Dave replied, ‘How about we strengthen the balance sheet instead?’ Classic cuckaphobe shutdown."
Cuckaphobe by InBootyITrust January 5, 2025
Get the Cuckaphobe mug.