Crump Cramps 

When you crump so much that the crump factory starts to burn and stretch

I ate a lot of taco bell and now I have crump cramps

Crump Cramps by Grandpa Olives February 8, 2023

Sperm Cramp 

A “Sperm Cramp” is a phenomenon that occurs every month for males, in which there is immense pain in the ballsack for extended periods of time.

“Women will just never understand the pain men go through with sperm cramps.”

Sperm Cramp by Ninji (the real one) April 25, 2023

wanker's cramp 

British slang:
To wank is slang for masturbating, usually understood to be carried out on a man by someone of either sex.

Wanker's cramp is laughingly used to describe any hand pain, with the understood meaning that the person with the pain often masturbates.

You say your hand hurts. You must have wanker's cramp.

wanker's cramp by soreofhing July 6, 2009

cramp in the face 

The lovely look on your face after you wake up

Example A

Bob: Dude, how was last night?!
Bobert: ...it was great until I woke up and discovered her nasty morning cramp in the face.

Example B

Morning time
Jim: Who the heck are you?
Beatrice: Shut up Jim!
Jim: Whoa, it's you Beatrice? You have one gnarly cramp in the face...

cramp in the face by sevenEND September 25, 2010

paradox cramp 

In human males, the intellectual or emotional stabbing pain created by the seemingly irreconcilable contradictions in human female statements, behaviour, responses or expectations. Paradox cramps are usually but not exclusively experienced in heterosexual romantic relationship interdynamics.

Human Female: “Of course I wanted to talk to you. That’s why you shouldn’t have called me.” or “Yes, I know I told you to do it, and you did it right away. That’s why I am angry at you.”
Human male: “Understood. Apropos of nothing at all, where do you keep your Tylenol 3s / bourbon?”
Scientist: "Thus we see a paradox cramp, inducing standard response behaviour."

paradox cramp by Seeker6079 September 16, 2005

masturbator's cramp 

Pain and swelling in the muscle around the mid-arm, elbow area which is caused by excessive masturbating. Not to be confused with Gamer's Wrist.

"Look at that huge whelp on Johnny's arm. Think he gets beaten?"

"Nah, it's probably Masturbator's Cramp."

masturbator's cramp by DesPERRYado April 21, 2005

Thumb cramp 

The kind of cramp you get from pressing the sprint button on Modern warfare 2 for too long

I got this masive thumb cramp from useing my marathonclass too long..

Thumb cramp by Mr, R December 2, 2010