Constraption 

A contraption that is made up of straps. Something used to tie wheelie bins to the back of a car, to get the bins down a long driveway

They’re using that constraption to get the wheelie bins out.

Constraption by anonymous August 15, 2023

Constipation Proclamation 

The declaration that all must eat fruit and food high in bran to help the flow of certain things coming out of the body

The president signed the constipation proclamation stating all must eat vegetables and fruits, and things high in bran

Constipation Proclamation by funkymonkey2552 November 29, 2009

vacation constipation 

Losing the ability to poop when you lose that home field advantage.

May be a result of changes in eating and drinking habits, elevation, fiber intake, stress, etc.

Vacation constipation is usually followed by a glacier dump.

I'm having a horrible case of vacation constipation...can't wait to get back home and drop a couple belt notches.

vacation constipation by nofx9019 September 6, 2010

contraption adaption 

1) The period of time needed to familiarize oneself with a new electronic device.
2) Often, a period of extreme anxiety and frustration stemming from one's need to learn a lot of technical information in a short to non-existent period of time.

1) "I'm sorry, Joe. I won't be in to work today. I'm exhausted from staying up all night learning how to use my new i-phone and am suffering this morning from a bad case of contraption adaption."

2) "I'm now limiting my persuit of new e-toys to only those gadgets with a low level of contraption adaption."

3) The salesguy said: "If you buy this new Mac laptop today, I guarantee you'll start using it today." "Yeah, sure", I said. "I'll BET there's no contraption adaption for THIS machine!"

contraption adaption by Juan O'Malley July 22, 2009

conscription 

being obligated or required to make an appearance, regardless of what one desires to do.

Some people consider having to report for jury duty a form of conscription.

Having to visit my parents during the holidays feels like conscription. All their turmoil makes me wish I could just stay home.

conscription by D.S. Credito March 2, 2015

constipation 

when you've gotta go, but you're ass says no

chips got constipation

constipation by botaf November 11, 2003

Shit Contraction

Prior to taking a dump, you get horrible pains in your stomach. Those pains sometimes get so bad that you just want to lay on the ground and get into the fetal position.

Pregnant women get contractions and they must hurt a shit load and so do shit contractions.

Duder 1: Dude, hurry up in that bathroom, I have to take a dump!
Duder 2: Hold on, I'm only brushing my teeth.
Duder 1: I'm having shit contractions, please hurry up!

Shit Contraction by FoulMe January 4, 2012