Carlinized is quite similar to bastardized, except with more arrogance and randomness. To carlinize is to fictitiously create the optimization of numbers or metrics without any basis in reality or factual events.
An example of a Carlinized request: "Likely abnormal uniques volatility outside the range of historical divisions for that market?"
How in the world did you come up with those numbers? You must have Carlinized them!
How in the world did you come up with those numbers? You must have Carlinized them!
by WebAnalyst March 18, 2013
The shared beliefs of George Carlin (1937-2008), one of the greatest human minds that ever lived. Carlin taught us that Republicans/Conservatives are full of shit, kids today are largely flawed, God doesn't exist and those who believe in most religion are assholes who kill people for no reason (His words, not mine.), and people in general are scared, weak, evil, manipulative, callous sacks of shit who sit around playing with their pricks until they die, and other such thoughts.
Churchgoer: Hey, I'm going to church, wanna come?
Carlinist: No thank you, I believe in Carlinism, now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go jack off.
Carlinist: No thank you, I believe in Carlinism, now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go jack off.
by ifyoureadthisthenyoulostthegam April 25, 2010
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Refers to George Carlin, a comedian from 1960s-2000s. Carlin was prolific in his (usually profane) observations and ridicule of societal norms.
by macdude72 October 29, 2008
A sweetheart of a girl who can light up anyone's day with her jokes. Carlin may not be the most popular girl but is definitely the coolest. She's easy going, easy to talk to, funny, cute, incredibly smart and wise beyond her years. She's a little shy but insanely outgoing around her friends. She can make anyone laugh, knows how to treat a man right and loves cuddling. She genuinely cares about everyone and she loves everyone. If you get to really know her you'll realize she's deep, insecure and one of the most amazing friends you will ever make in your entire life. She'd make the most amazing girlfriend in the history of man-kind. She's also incredibly brave and isn't afraid to fight for what she believes in or wants. If you ever have the privilege to have her in your life don't take it for granted and never let go of her as a friend or anything else. She knows what to say, when to say it, and how to say it. She's a good listener and gives the best advice. She never judges or makes you feel like you're nothing. She has the most beautiful blue/green eyes you've ever seen and is the easiest person to love ever. She's pretty much every guy's dream girl and more. Incredibly rare down to earth troubled toddler and is just plain awesome. Words can't describe this woman.
Guy1: I need a girl who can always be there for me and really cares...
Guy2: Maaann get cho' self a Carlin!!
Guy2: Maaann get cho' self a Carlin!!
by Sunnyboy97 April 17, 2020
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A dinosaur human-being, they tend to be incredibly funny and it is said to have a big head and little arms like a T-Rex. Carlins have the ability to be the life of a party, and turn frowns upside down. Though they have awesome personalities beware of when they're hungry, they can be vicious.
by AwesomeFun-Brain July 11, 2013