Bettman

A large human shit. Named after the NHL commish Gary Bettman who ruined then cancelled the 2004-2005 hockey season.

This slang is widely used in the Canadian cities Vancouver, Edmonton, Calgary, Toronto, Ottawa, and Montreal.

Wheres the crapper? I been holding in a Bettman for aboot two hours, eh.

Bettman by Debbie Doolittle March 1, 2005

Bettman's bitches

Nickname for the Florida Panthers NHL team (could also possibly work with another recently Bettman-favoured American team such as the Vegas Golden Knights or Tampa Bay Lightning) made by angry Edmonton Oilers fans after the Oilers got "screwed" in the 2024 Stanley Cup Finals by Gary Bettman and the refs "rigging" Game 7, as he highly favorites American teams over Canadian teams in the Stanley Cup Finals (or playoffs), and has been for 32 years.

I hope if that we make it to the Stanley Cup Finals, we don't face Bettman's bitches again!

Bettman's bitches by rokkz44 May 11, 2025

Gary Bettman Hat Trick 

The inglorious feat of having three lockouts occur during your tenure as NHL Commissioner.

With the lockout becoming official on September 15, 2012, Gary Bettman would oversee the third lockout since he became commissioner in 1993.

Like a hockey player scoring three goals in one game, this accomplishment would be named after him: the Gary Bettman Hat Trick.

Gary Bettman Hat Trick by gokingsgo January 14, 2013

gary bettman 

1. Commisioner of the NHL
2. A greedy, selfish, stuck-up jerk. Must be fired.

Gary Bettman is the worst commisioner of any sport ever.

gary bettman by teh 1337 0n3 November 12, 2004

Gary Bettman 

The man who Sidney Crosby is sucking off more than any other man. Probably even at this moment.

This Bettman is also the dictator of the NHL.

Sidney Crosby is the dick taker of the NHL.

Bettman is in love with his bitch Crosby. He doesn't seem to think there are any other players in the league to promote other than his cum dumpster Crosby.

Hey dude, check out Crosby during the pre game warmups. He's got jizz still on his face. Gary Bettman must've dropped by the Penguins locker room and dropped a load.

Jeez, i wonder how the refs are gonna call the game tonight? Oh, i'm sure in the Penguins favor as usual.

Gary Bettman by I. C. Nippz January 25, 2011

German Gary Bettman Bobblehead

Where a man locks a person out behind a glass door and reveals his penis.

Bob locked Sarah inside the convenience store and did a German Gary Bettman Bobblehead.

German Gary Bettman Bobblehead by Shawtototo February 17, 2010

Full Bettman 

When your hubris leads you to consider an atomic bomb solution to a problem. Normally associated with sports leagues; may apply to Hollywood studio executives. Usually accompanied by a "head up the ass" attitude and general derision for the actual impact on a fanbase.

The 2004-05 NHL lockout. Rather than resolve the problem between owners and the players, the NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman chose to instead try and break the union.

In the end, by cancelling the whole NHL season, the owners got what they wanted, but at the expense of losing their ESPN broadcast contract, being reduced to a third-tier cable channel (Versus), and only gaining 4-network exposure by showing games essentially for free on NBC.

The end result of a "Full Bettman" was the lack of TV exposure leading to a decline from major 4-sport status in the US, falling behind NASCAR and NCAA football and basketball. The eventual byproduct of the casual loss of interest has been failure of NHL southern expansion and, ultimately, possible relocation of teams to Canada.

Full Bettman by Beerguyrob May 6, 2011