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The utopia of asses. The one land all ass-warriors strive for when their time comes to an end. Only glory and butts await for the brave and bold in this golden heaven.
"He fell unconscious after touching such perfect ass. He knew that after such experience he could only await death, and hoped that he was worthy of ascending to Assgard with full honours."
Assgard by Jefedin January 5, 2014
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The word the Grandmaster calls Asgard in the movie Thor: Ragnarok
"I need to get back to Asgard!". "Assgard"
Assgard by StunV2 June 9, 2018
What the Grandmaster calls Asgard in Thor: Ragnarok
“I need to get back to Asgard!” “Assgard”
Assgard by StunV2 June 7, 2018
The anal equivalent of a "VCard". One keeps their Asscard until penetrated anally.
"So last night during sex, Jim took my asscard by sticking his fingers inside my anus"
Asscard by WindowDominos March 7, 2010

The Asgard Experience

Call your penis Stormbreaker and then masturbate so hard to an image of Tessa Thompson that you ejaculate the bifrost and open up a path to Asgard.
Bro I watched Thor Rangnarok last night and then had The Asgard Experience.
A male who goes around causing unnecessary drama, usually involving younger girls, particularly freshmen. As a self-proclaimed "Ladies Man (see Definition 3," an asstard typically spends a superfluous amount of time attempting to make himself look good for his company. This includes ridiculously expensive boy perfume, several cans of Axe(TM) deodorant, and driving a "tough" car without any regard to safety. (see car accident.) Additionally, an asstard tends to attempt to flatter other men and "impress" them with his own perceived "strength/coolness." Not only is this ineffective and hilarious, it also puts an asstard's sexuality into intense scrutiny. This is compounded by the fact that asstards are usually caught creeping and staring at younger men in bathrooms.
Prima: Who's that junior who only hangs out with freshmen?
Secunda: Who, him? Oh that's just Asstard, that's just how he rolls.
Prima: Haha, what a tool.

An Asstard is the synthesis of Asshole and Retard
Asstard by SeptemberLove December 18, 2010
The cross between a Retard and a Dumbass
A: Jimmy is an asstard for jumping on the fence nuts first.

B: I swear Bryan acts like an asstard sometimes.
Asstard by The_Random_Man May 13, 2014