The utopia of asses. The one land all ass-warriors strive for when their time comes to an end. Only glory and butts await for the brave and bold in this golden heaven.
"He fell unconscious after touching such perfect ass. He knew that after such experience he could only await death, and hoped that he was worthy of ascending to Assgard with full honours."
A cue-card size piece of paper or thin cardboard with the word "ASS" written on it. When one person acts like an ass to another, the ass-ee can give the card to the ass-er as a means of letting the person know that they crossed a line and are just acting like an ass. Generally seen as a peaceful alternative to punching someone in the arm for being an ass. This comes in handy in places where punching is considered inappropriate, such as the workplace, dinner with the in-laws, and church.
A male who goes around causing unnecessary drama, usually involving younger girls, particularly freshmen. As a self-proclaimed "Ladies Man (see Definition 3," an asstard typically spends a superfluous amount of time attempting to make himself look good for his company. This includes ridiculously expensive boy perfume, several cans of Axe(TM) deodorant, and driving a "tough" car without any regard to safety. (see car accident.) Additionally, an asstard tends to attempt to flatter other men and "impress" them with his own perceived "strength/coolness." Not only is this ineffective and hilarious, it also puts an asstard's sexuality into intense scrutiny. This is compounded by the fact that asstards are usually caught creeping and staring at younger men in bathrooms.
Prima: Who's that junior who only hangs out with freshmen?
Secunda: Who, him? Oh that's just Asstard, that's just how he rolls.
Prima: Haha, what a tool.