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Asscard

The anal equivalent of a "VCard". One keeps their Asscard until penetrated anally.
"So last night during sex, Jim took my asscard by sticking his fingers inside my anus"
by WindowDominos March 7, 2010
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Assgard

The utopia of asses. The one land all ass-warriors strive for when their time comes to an end. Only glory and butts await for the brave and bold in this golden heaven.
"He fell unconscious after touching such perfect ass. He knew that after such experience he could only await death, and hoped that he was worthy of ascending to Assgard with full honours."
by Jefedin January 5, 2014
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Ass Card

A cue-card size piece of paper or thin cardboard with the word "ASS" written on it. When one person acts like an ass to another, the ass-ee can give the card to the ass-er as a means of letting the person know that they crossed a line and are just acting like an ass. Generally seen as a peaceful alternative to punching someone in the arm for being an ass. This comes in handy in places where punching is considered inappropriate, such as the workplace, dinner with the in-laws, and church.
A: Hey dude, your mom's cute.

B: Dude, that's weird.

A: Seriously man, she's so hot I'd TOTALLY do her.

B: *Hands ass card over* You crossed a line.
by JoePackage August 20, 2010
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Asstard

A male who goes around causing unnecessary drama, usually involving younger girls, particularly freshmen. As a self-proclaimed "Ladies Man (see Definition 3," an asstard typically spends a superfluous amount of time attempting to make himself look good for his company. This includes ridiculously expensive boy perfume, several cans of Axe(TM) deodorant, and driving a "tough" car without any regard to safety. (see car accident.) Additionally, an asstard tends to attempt to flatter other men and "impress" them with his own perceived "strength/coolness." Not only is this ineffective and hilarious, it also puts an asstard's sexuality into intense scrutiny. This is compounded by the fact that asstards are usually caught creeping and staring at younger men in bathrooms.
Prima: Who's that junior who only hangs out with freshmen?
Secunda: Who, him? Oh that's just Asstard, that's just how he rolls.
Prima: Haha, what a tool.

An Asstard is the synthesis of Asshole and Retard
by SeptemberLove December 18, 2010
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Asstard

The cross between a Retard and a Dumbass
A: Jimmy is an asstard for jumping on the fence nuts first.

B: I swear Bryan acts like an asstard sometimes.
by The_Random_Man May 13, 2014
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Asstard

The cross between a Retard and a Dumbass
A: Jimmy is an asstard for jumping on the fence nuts first.

B: I swear Bryan acts like an asstard sometimes.
by The_Random_Man May 10, 2014
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Asstardia

1. A planet not known to common earthlings where Asstards reside

2. A mental state of total ignorance and bliss

3. A group message where people talk about their messed up lives
Let's go to Asstardia
I have achieved Asstardia
I ranted about my mouth on Asstardia
by Penguin from Asstardia April 22, 2017
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