Asscape

1. A completely useless object

2. An idiotic person

1. Man 1: Hey guys! Check out this pet rock I found.

Man 2: Put that asscape away. No one cares.

2. Man 1: I can't believe I just spilled my drink while talking to that hot chick.

Man 2: Yeah. Smooth move asscape.

by Dub C. December 20, 2008

AssCape

When you back out of a terrible situation using your ass as either a literal or metaphorical exit strategy. Can involve physically reversing away from danger, using thicc energy as a social shield, or dropping something so embarrassing that everyone forgets what they were mad about in the first place.

As the great philosopher kenny420g once said: "The ass is a place of escape so it's all the same."

"My boss caught me on Reddit during the meeting, so I pulled an AssCape—knocked my chair over backing up, caused a whole scene, and everyone forgot I wasn't working."

by 3nrRed January 6, 2026

ass cape

What you call a long sleeved shirt or pullover when you tie it around the waist such to hide the bottocks, cameltoe, etc.

Damn, girl, you need an ass cape 'foe ur ass raped.

by caddy wampus March 8, 2011

assrape city

Being in position of extreme pain, helplessness, getting screwed over.

I totaled my car, I just got fired, and my girlfriend gave me a vd. I'm stuck in the middle of assrape city!

by El Gran Guapo September 18, 2008

Asspaper

a real idiot, also synonym for toilet paper

Come out to eat with us, stop being an asspaper, I was taking a shit and i noticed I ran out of asspaper to wipe my ass

by terry liaros August 6, 2008

asscaptain

1. One who takes charge of and dominates asses like a despot.

2. The nemisis of the asspirate. Although their goals are similar they are loathe to share the ass-sea.

3. A man who loves ass-sex, but unlike the asspirate the ass captain in purely homosexual.

1. "I can't believe the way roberto lets mantooth captain his ass like that"

2. Asscaptain McClendon glared at his arch nemesis, the dred asspirate Roberts.
"I'll be damned if I share this eerr ass-ocean yee," exclaimed the insatiable Roberts.
"Then battle for the ass we must!" retorted McClendon.

3. "Man o man do I singularily love to tyranize a man's ass," said the asscaptain.

by Matuea October 8, 2006

asscaptain

1. One who deems it necessary to boss people around for the sake of shameless self-amusement.
2. One who seeks ass of any kind.
3. One who captains the ass.

Brad should stop telling me what to do. I'm sick of him being an asscaptain.

by Matt Heston September 2, 2008