401jk—just kidding. Welcome to the era of 401jk. The meme retirement (freedom) fund. Ever present, constantly improving, always laughing just like our community.
The current value of assets held in the 401k plans in the US is close to $12 trillion USD. Invest in the 401jk today and retire by mocking the system
by JohnSmith401jk September 21, 2025
Get the 401jk mug.by Creatorof401k December 8, 2020
Get the 401k mug.Related Words
401k
• 401(jk)
• 401k and chill
• 401karen
• 401k dude
• 401k energy
• 401kill
• 401KO'd
• 401K Tits
• Alabama 401K
A retirement plan, of sorts, where an individual makes a bogus back injury claim and files for unemployment, social security, and/or insurance payments. This is a steady source of income for many dirtbags living in Alabama and Mississippi.
by Gary Vitalis February 12, 2007
Get the Alabama 401K mug.Something dumb shits do: Cash out their 401k and just chill for a few months until it runs out. Then find a job, if any employer would be so lucky to have their dumb ass.
by nogimmick December 29, 2015
Get the 401k and chill mug.401(jk)
fohr-oh-wuhn-jey-key
–noun
What all of our 401(k) retirement plans became after the collapse of the global finance industry.
fohr-oh-wuhn-jey-key
–noun
What all of our 401(k) retirement plans became after the collapse of the global finance industry.
Benjamin:
Shaniqua, why on earth have you closed your 401(k)? Don't you want to retire someday?
Shaniqua:
Bitch, listen up. When those motha fuckas on wall street fucked all this shit up, my 401(k) suddenly became a 401(jk). So instead of getting my vaseline and straight razors and shanking them like Tyrone wanted me to, Im just taking all of my lettuce and hiding it in my mattress like the G-Unit did back in during the Great Depression. MMMMMM-KAAAAAY?
Benjamin:
Well Shaniqua, I think that may have been a very wise move on your part when one considers the volatility of the financial markets and any formal investment. Yes, I think I will also close my 401(jk) and look for alternative savings opportunities outside the sphere of the banking and financial industry.
Shaniqua, why on earth have you closed your 401(k)? Don't you want to retire someday?
Shaniqua:
Bitch, listen up. When those motha fuckas on wall street fucked all this shit up, my 401(k) suddenly became a 401(jk). So instead of getting my vaseline and straight razors and shanking them like Tyrone wanted me to, Im just taking all of my lettuce and hiding it in my mattress like the G-Unit did back in during the Great Depression. MMMMMM-KAAAAAY?
Benjamin:
Well Shaniqua, I think that may have been a very wise move on your part when one considers the volatility of the financial markets and any formal investment. Yes, I think I will also close my 401(jk) and look for alternative savings opportunities outside the sphere of the banking and financial industry.
by disillusionedinvestor March 2, 2009
Get the 401(jk) mug.A retirement plan, of sorts, for white trash people living in the South. Generally speaking a low-end wage earner will claim a back injury and go to an unscrupulous doctor who will assist in the claim of a debilitating health condition. Ultimately the participant in the Alabama 401K will receive a monthly check, tax free, so technically we could refer to this plan as a Redneck Roth IRA.
The recipients can usally be found hanging around Auto Zone trying to return a 10 year old starter from one of the many broken down Firebirds (aka trailer park Corvette) sprinkled in front of their God-forsaken turd shack of a house but don't understand that Auto Zone does not accept starters actually purchased at Advance Auto.
Some like-minded individuals will also participate in a Mama 401K. This is where the least successful of a mother's offspring returns to his birth home and mooches off said mother's social security check. On account of an unhealthy need for familiar approval, the mother freely allows the formerly errant son to have full reign of the double-wide mobile home. He may even make a half-hearted attempt to rebuild the transmission from his '77 Trans Am that he spray painted black and gold to look like Smokey's car as in "Smokey and the Bandit." He constantly claims to be looking for work when he is not reading the Auto Trader. Usually these people talk of an imaginary check that they will be receiving as a result of a settlement in a lawsuit filed against his employer after a fall from a roof some 6 years ago.
This individual can be seen at the local Wal-Mart, staring carefully and nervously at cold medicine boxes. Said indivual will usally have a bottle of acetone or Heet brand water remover in his cart and quite possibly a container or two of drain cleaner. Tonight he ain't fryin' catfish; he's gonna make a batch of shithouse meth. He will pay for the purchase by returning the Similac cans he "purchased" a week earlier using the WIC vouchers (sort of like food stamps for babies)intended for his numerous illegitimate half-wits.
The recipients can usally be found hanging around Auto Zone trying to return a 10 year old starter from one of the many broken down Firebirds (aka trailer park Corvette) sprinkled in front of their God-forsaken turd shack of a house but don't understand that Auto Zone does not accept starters actually purchased at Advance Auto.
Some like-minded individuals will also participate in a Mama 401K. This is where the least successful of a mother's offspring returns to his birth home and mooches off said mother's social security check. On account of an unhealthy need for familiar approval, the mother freely allows the formerly errant son to have full reign of the double-wide mobile home. He may even make a half-hearted attempt to rebuild the transmission from his '77 Trans Am that he spray painted black and gold to look like Smokey's car as in "Smokey and the Bandit." He constantly claims to be looking for work when he is not reading the Auto Trader. Usually these people talk of an imaginary check that they will be receiving as a result of a settlement in a lawsuit filed against his employer after a fall from a roof some 6 years ago.
This individual can be seen at the local Wal-Mart, staring carefully and nervously at cold medicine boxes. Said indivual will usally have a bottle of acetone or Heet brand water remover in his cart and quite possibly a container or two of drain cleaner. Tonight he ain't fryin' catfish; he's gonna make a batch of shithouse meth. He will pay for the purchase by returning the Similac cans he "purchased" a week earlier using the WIC vouchers (sort of like food stamps for babies)intended for his numerous illegitimate half-wits.
Mama, did my check come in today? I need to by a three neck Pyrex boiler for the shed.
Alabama 401K--retirement plan for broke-ass rednecks who could not read the questions on the ASVAB which is a prerequisite to join the Alabama National Guard.
Alabama 401K--retirement plan for broke-ass rednecks who could not read the questions on the ASVAB which is a prerequisite to join the Alabama National Guard.
by Gary Vitalis December 12, 2008
Get the Alabama 401K mug.The market dropped so much that all last years contributions to my 401k have been wiped out. I'll bet the clowns that managed it made sure their big money clients didn't lose anything.
by wjc August 5, 2008
Get the 401k mug.