401(jk)
fohr-oh-wuhn-jey-key
–noun
What all of our 401(k) retirement plans became after the collapse of the global finance industry.
fohr-oh-wuhn-jey-key
–noun
What all of our 401(k) retirement plans became after the collapse of the global finance industry.
Benjamin:
Shaniqua, why on earth have you closed your 401(k)? Don't you want to retire someday?
Shaniqua:
Bitch, listen up. When those motha fuckas on wall street fucked all this shit up, my 401(k) suddenly became a 401(jk). So instead of getting my vaseline and straight razors and shanking them like Tyrone wanted me to, Im just taking all of my lettuce and hiding it in my mattress like the G-Unit did back in during the Great Depression. MMMMMM-KAAAAAY?
Benjamin:
Well Shaniqua, I think that may have been a very wise move on your part when one considers the volatility of the financial markets and any formal investment. Yes, I think I will also close my 401(jk) and look for alternative savings opportunities outside the sphere of the banking and financial industry.
Shaniqua, why on earth have you closed your 401(k)? Don't you want to retire someday?
Shaniqua:
Bitch, listen up. When those motha fuckas on wall street fucked all this shit up, my 401(k) suddenly became a 401(jk). So instead of getting my vaseline and straight razors and shanking them like Tyrone wanted me to, Im just taking all of my lettuce and hiding it in my mattress like the G-Unit did back in during the Great Depression. MMMMMM-KAAAAAY?
Benjamin:
Well Shaniqua, I think that may have been a very wise move on your part when one considers the volatility of the financial markets and any formal investment. Yes, I think I will also close my 401(jk) and look for alternative savings opportunities outside the sphere of the banking and financial industry.
by disillusionedinvestor March 2, 2009
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The current value of assets held in the 401k plans in the US is close to $12 trillion USD. Invest in the 401jk today and retire by mocking the system
by JohnSmith401jk September 21, 2025
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