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Wanking off a Smurf 

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When people have blue hands which have been dyed with ink, paint etc they are said to have wanked off a smurf.
Why are your hands blue? Have you been wanking off a smurf or something?

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi 

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Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

Wanking Dead Dogs off 

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What a man (or woman) does to pass the time of day if he so wishes.
"Where's Ginner?"

"Wanking dead dogs off at the side of the road"

"Oh"

Wanking’t dog off 

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Wanking’t dog off indicates that a person is not doing anything at that moment in time and/or has no plans.

PSA- no dogs shall be harmed, the masturbation of canines is not included.
Alex: what are you doing today?

Caitlin: Wankingt dog off.
Wanking’t dog off by Cwilss March 4, 2024

Wacking Off In My Tool Shed 

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Addictive behaviour conducted in demeaning and surreptitious circumstances.
(On finding a dieting woman wolfing ice cream right out of the bucket while standing in front of the freezer at 2 am): "Are you whacking off in the tool shed again?"

wacking off

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i was wacking off for 2 hours straight last night.
wacking off by Alexanderia October 27, 2006
More from Urban Dictionary

mormon assault vehicle

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another term for a station wagon, mini-van, or any other kind of vehicle that is targeted at the "family" demographic(also M.A.V.)
"Tactical advantages aside, the M.A.V. is top of the line for the holy warrior troop transport manufactured by the Church of Latter Day Saints Military Industrial Complex. Also great for family trips...to heathen lands."
mormon assault vehicle by KVRX January 10, 2005
Word of the Day on August 22, 2026

Shakira Law 

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A version of "Sharia Law" that Reform Ltd supporters tend to refer to, often by mistake.
Richard Tice of Reform now lives in Dubai, under Shakira Law, although telling Brits that we should worry about it
Shakira Law by Reformltd February 16, 2025
Word of the Day on August 21, 2026

Overstand 

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To understand a topic or statement to the highest extent.
Leroy, after being told the tenth time by his sister, did overstand her idea of robbing the 7-11.
Overstand by Elf Eater March 23, 2003
Word of the Day on August 20, 2026

minimap 

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A map that mostly tells you where everything is
Friend 1: Follow me there is a player nearby
Friend 2: How do you know?
Friend 1: Minimap
minimap by LeWord January 13, 2015
Word of the Day on August 19, 2026

Pink Cloud

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12 step recovery jargon referring to someone new who talks about how great life is, now that they're sober. Usually meaning that the person is out of touch with reality.
The new guy seems pretty happy for a dude who has no job, no money and no family. He must be on a pink cloud.
Pink Cloud by toniwithaneye November 24, 2006
Word of the Day on August 18, 2026

Dotard 

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An aging individual who has long lost the ability to make rational sense.
That dotard is going to get us all blown up, if he doesn't calm down .
Dotard by anonymous September 22, 2017
Word of the Day on August 17, 2026
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