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turtle herder 

Someone who collects fecal matter.
My sister is such a turtle herder, she's always digging around in that cat box.

turtle herder 

Someone that is in charge of rounding up, containing, or otherwise directing slow moving people, especially children.
Getting anywhere on time with little kids makes me feel like a turtle herder

herd of turtles 

Any group of slow moving idiots in front of you who are taking up the entire pathway, making it impossible for you to pass them. Different than a blockage in that these idiots are actually moving (although WAY too slowly) and they are oblivious to the fact that they’re inconsiderate as hell.
“If this herd of turtles would make a hole I might make actually make my connecting flight.”
herd of turtles by someoneouthere August 24, 2006

turtlehead 

A loaf of shit that is beginning to poke out of your ass prior to reaching a toilet. Turtleheads are generally dealt with using careful restriction of the sphincter muscles until you can make it to a toilet. You must squeeze firmly enough to prevent the shit loaf from further sliding out of the ass, but not so firmly that you chop the turtlehead off, or smash it with your ass cheeks creating an undesirable mess.
Guy 1: "I really need to take a shit."

Guy 2: "A little, or a lot?"

Guy 1: "Well, I've got a turtlehead."

Guy 2: "Okay, that's an emergency. Be careful not to pinch it off. I think I see a restroom over there."
turtlehead by Big B72 October 9, 2008

Turtlenerd

A species of human-like animals that are born on the island of turtopia carry the turtlenerd gene called turtitis and, are usually adopted by human parents. Turtlenerds are born with a shell, but human parents generally have it removed at a young age so that their child can better fit in with other human children. Turtlenerds commonly wear jackets zipped all the way up their neck in order to cope with their shell removal. As they age, turtlenerds develop a liking of both food and reading.
Jill-"Ashly did you that girl over there?"

Ashly-"Yeah she's really weird. She always keeps her jacket zipped up and all she does is read."

Jill-"I know, she must be a turtlenerd or something"
Turtlenerd by gineva November 21, 2011

turtlehead sneak 

A fart that is surprisingly accompanied by a turd, forcing the farter to pull it back in to prevent a larger accident from ocurring.
Luckily for Eric, he realized his fart was a turtlehead sneak before he stained his underwear.
turtlehead sneak by Ulmelqlo April 30, 2008