1. Soul. As defined by Scientology. Derived from the greek letter theta for thought or life or the spirit.
2. Thetans are needed to animate a flesh body.
3. According to Scientology you are full of "body thetans" - degraded thetans who were once people but are now clustered together along with you and inhabit your body along with you. You are the leader of these thetans.

75 million years ago there was supposedly a ruler of this part of the galaxy named Xenu. To cure overpopulation on all the planets he controlled he summoned the people with psychiatric conditions in for an income tax audit. There they were instead paralyzed by injection of an alcohol and glycol mixture into their lungs. They were packed up in refridgerated units and loaded onto space-craft and taken to Earth (called Teegeeack then) and packed around the bases of a few volcanos.

Then their bodies were all destroyed by nuclear explosions. After this the thetans who were flying around in the winds were caught in electronic beams and frozen together in blocks. Then they were taken to huge 3-D cinemas and shown forms of what life should be like on Earth. After that they supposedly clustered together with a lead thetan in charge and they ended up inhabiting bodies in these clusters. Hence although we are a single thetan we supposedly have about 2,500 other lesser "body thetans" attached to our own thetan self.

The dysharmonious relationship between you and your thetans is what causes all sickness and disease in the world.

If you join Scientology, and pay thousands of dollars, you can go through the process of freeing yourself from these body thetans at huge monetary expense.
I know why I have cancer! My thetans are flaring up again. Better fork over some cash to the Scientology folks so that I can be rid of this disease and my entire life inheritance.
by The Troll July 17, 2005
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1. Soul. As defined by Scientology. Derived from the greek letter theta for thought or life or the spirit.

2. Thetans are needed to animate a flesh body.

3. According to Scientology you are full of "body thetans" - degraded thetans who were once people but are now clustered together along with you and inhabit your body along with you. You are the leader of these thetans.

75 million years ago there was supposedly a ruler of this part of the galaxy named Xenu. To cure overpopulation on all the planets he controlled he summoned the people with psychiatric conditions in for an income tax audit. There they were instead paralyzed by injection of an alcohol and glycol mixture into their lungs. They were packed up in refridgerated units and loaded onto space-craft and taken to Earth (called Teegeeack then) and packed around the bases of a few volcanos.

Then their bodies were all destroyed by nuclear explosions. After this the thetans who were flying around in the winds were caught in electronic beams and frozen together in blocks. Then they were taken to huge 3-D cinemas and shown forms of what life should be like on Earth. After that they supposedly clustered together with a lead thetan in charge and they ended up inhabiting bodies in these clusters. Hence although we are a single thetan we supposedly have about 2,500 other lesser "body thetans" attached to our own thetan self.

The dysharmonious relationship between you and your thetans is what causes all sickness and disease in the world.

If you join Scientology, and pay thousands of dollars, you too can go through the process of freeing yourself from these body thetans at huge monetary expense.
I know why I have cancer!! My thetans are flaring up again. Better fork over some cash to the Scientology folks so that I can be rid of this disease and my entire life inheritance all at the same time.
by The Troll July 17, 2005
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