A cult founded by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard. There core beliefs are as follows:

This area of the galaxy was once ruled by an alien warlord named Xenu. 65 million years ago his empire was overpopulated horribly, so to combat the overpopulation he had trillions of citizens called in for psychiatric evalutations and tax audits, where they were given paralytic drugs, loaded onto space planes, and flown to Planet Teegeeack. Once on this planet, their bodies were stacked in huge piles around volcanoes, while atom bombs were dropped into these volcanos, instantly killing trillions of galactic citizens.

To keep these people from reincarnating in the rest of the galaxy, Xenu set up a special trap. Powerful force-fields kept their souls (called "Thetans" in Scientology jargon) from escaping, and these thetans were then shown special holographic movies about the various lies they are supposed to believe, with characters like Jesus, Mohammed and Buddha. Over time, these thetans began to believe Xenu's lies about false gods, and began to reincarnate on Teegeeack (but the thetans called this world "Earth"). When intelligent life appeared on Teegeeack, thousands or millions of "Thetans" cling to every native soul (er, "thetan") and fill it's head with nonsensical thoughs and irrational beliefs.

The key idea of Scientology is to avoid tax officials and psychiatrists at all costs, while paying the church a large amount of money for special "counseling" (called "auditing" in their jargon) to help you reach a special enlightened state called "Clear" where you telepathically communicate with these "thetans" clinging to you and force them out of your body, and rid yourself of evil Xenu's influence.

(By the way, most Scientologists don't know this, like the Mystery Cults of the Greco-Roman world, Scientology doles it's doctrine out in tiny doses to it's new recruits, and tells the public next to nothing about what it believes. You don't hear that whole story until you reach a special rank in their group called "OT3" for "Operating Thetan 3". Their doctrine holds that if this got out, the Thetans in people would revolt at hearing the truth and people would get sick and die possibly just by hearing this story, which of course leads people who aren't Scientologists who hear this story to tell it to others and watch them not die or get ill from it.)
The Church of Scientology takes advantage of the gullibility of the American people to make a tidy profit.
by Student-Athlete December 10, 2004
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The one "religion" that Atheists and Christians can look at and just say to each other "Thats bullshit."
Christian: God is to real!
Atheist: The bible is a book a fairytails!
Scientologist: Hello have you heard about the church of Scientology?
Christian & Atheist: Thats a lode of bullshit!
by JerZeyCJ March 07, 2010
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The religion created by the minor Science Fiction writer, L. Ron Hubbard in 1952. Scientology teaches that you are an immortal "thetan" that is entrapped in the physical universe and your own problems by your thoughts (considerations and postulates). In practice, Scientology is the exact opposite of what it teaches. It claims to free you, but most people would say that Scientologists are brainwashed and enslaved. It claims to promote freedom of speech, but Scientology sues anyone who says anything bad about Scientology. It claims to want to improve the earth, but sues anyone who tries to use it's books and techniques without paying a license. It is a very schizophrenic and dangerous organization whose members actually infiltrated and spied on the U.S. government in the biggest ever case of its type in U.S. history.
If Scientology got big, the people who get in their way would be killed.
by adam wilson July 05, 2004
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A halfassed plot for a sci-fi novel turned into a 'Religion' by L. Ron Hubbard.
A Scientologist and his money are soon parted.
by Justin June 19, 2005
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Proof that people will believe anything you throw at them.
Mike's belief in Scientology is evidence that, no matter what BS you come up with, somebody in the world will believe it.
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A space-opera fairy tale apparently believed by otherwise mentally-functioning adults, and which was simply made up by L. Ron Hubbard who famously proclaimed:

"if you want to make a million dollars, start a religion!" The Church of Scientology was born.

Remarkably, "Scientology" is banned in Germany because even those very contrite Germans don't have to take THAT degree of bullshit.

Ron L Hubbard maybe did not specifically mention kissing major celebrity ass to attract lots of gullible people to "Scientology". But all that Celebrity ass-kissing works really well for sucking in the 'recruits' - new members who are then systematically brainwashed, exploited and have their entire lives controlled, cult-style.

Also you may not know of Ronnie's "faithful" members causing stupid harm other members' lives if such member comes to their senses and try to get OUT of Sci-fi 'tology.

You can go debunk "Scientology" right now on the website Operation Clambake:

www.http://www.xenu.net/

... unless you happen to already BE a 'Scientologist' in which case you are given a special COS web browser that blocks out all reality from your computer screen.
I suspected my date was a little off in the head until she said she was "into Scientology just like Will Smith" at which point I pretended to go to the washroom and went home.
by JonasOfToronto April 29, 2009
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The bastard cult that killed Lisa McPherson by starving her to death in an isolation chamber.
John: 'Did you hear that the cult of Scientology starved Lisa McPherson to death?'
Jane: 'No, what happened?'
John: 'Look it up, those people are brainwashed to be cruel.'
by HopskotchMofo February 18, 2010
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