The Beetus 

n.: a cooler, hipper way to say, "diabetes;" coined by a beloved walrus wearing a cowboy hat, who also may or may not endorse oatmeal.

"Uncle Smitty can now get his testing supplies mailed right to his home; he has The Beetus."

"Die-uh-beet-us, beet-us beet-us. Someone get me a sugar-free pudding. I've got the beet-us beet-us."

The Beetus by Emmy Foofoo May 5, 2008

the beets 

that band from the Doug show, remember? They did "I need more allowance" and "Killer Tofu"

dude, i remember The Beets.

the beets by Lando July 12, 2003

The Beets 

The best band ever to spring fully formed from a cartoon. More famous songs include "Killer Tofu", "I need more allowance" and "Shout your gums out".

loser: "Damnit man! I tried to get tickets for The Beets, but they were all sold out!"
loyal fan: "You are a fool."

The Beets by killerqueen May 3, 2005

The Beets' 

That Brittish band from the Doug Funny Show(cleverly titled Doug where they sing stupid songs that get stuck in your head.

The Beets' were the most popular band on the show and were adored by Doug, Skeeter, and Patty.

The Beets' song #1:
"I need more allowance!"
"Yodelllayheeeehoooooooo."
"Why?!"
"Because I do!"

Little girls Doug and Skeeter: "Ahhhhhh!!!!!! The Beets'!!!!"

The Beets' song #2:
"A-eeeeee-ooooooooo Killer Tofu!"
"Oooooooo-eeeeeeeee-ooooooooo Killer Tofu!"

Little girl Patti wets her pants.

The Beets' by Shaunn L. May 6, 2009

Hammering the Beets 

Male masturbation. Typically, the more vigorous and rough variety. Not just a causal wank.

I walked in on my roommate sitting on the toilet hammering the beets. I wondered what the smacking was.

My uncle paid me $50 to let him watch me hammering the beets.

I’m so sore from hammering the beets. My balls are swollen. I was on pornhub all day.

Hammering the Beets by Dick Onchin September 23, 2020

the beetis 

diabetes as spoken by Wilford Brimley, that fat guy with the walrus mustache from the liberty medical commercials.

Some guy: Holy shit! when i eat candy i have strokes and shit myself before falling into a coma. What do you think is wrong with me?

His buddy: I'll bet you have the beetis dude.

the beetis by Wilford Brimly August 25, 2008

plow the beets

When a man hits a woman's breasts so hard that they become red, and then places his penis between the breasts and tit-fucks her.

Cindy: "So Bill, what did you get me for my birthday?"
Bill: "Nothing, but I can plow the beets."
Cindy: "Oh Bill, I've always wanted to have my beets plowed!"

plow the beets by Barney F October 24, 2009