359 definitions by Dick Onchin

Showing your entire family how you can deep throat the boiled Turkey neck before granny incorporates it into her Thanksgiving gravy.
My cousin showed up for thanksgiving and did the Julia child tribute. Not even a gag or a watered eye. Took the whole thing. Guess I know who’s room I’ll be sneaking into.
by Dick Onchin November 20, 2020
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When you pull your dick out of your partner’s unclean asshole and the lines of fecal remnants on your rigid meat look like a Keebler Fudge Stripe cookie.

Typically occurs when you deep stroke and rail an unprepared asshole or you are so far up in the intestines it can’t be avoided.
That random guy I hooked up with Keebler fudged me last night.
by Dick Onchin November 02, 2020
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Clogging a public toilet with a entire roll, two if available, of toilet paper. Then dropping the most massive, heinous shit one can muster up into the clogged bowl. This is followed by the most important feature of the Kentucky Clogger. With an empty toilet paper roll or one’s finger, depending upon preference, scoop up a little dollop of shit and write “Mitch was Here!” on the toilet seat.
I stopped at the truck stop to snap a douche and medicate my trucker’s knuckles and every stall had a Kentucky clogger.

I was surprised when I visited the rest room at the capital on the side of the House. I found a Kentucky clogger. I’m didn’t think Mitch left the senate to go over to the house.
by Dick Onchin September 18, 2020
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A post shit wipe job that seemingly never wipes clean. No matter how many wipes, the paper looks like a magic marker tip is peeking out your ass and streaking the toilet paper. Eventually, you just give up and except it won’t be completely clean.
Man it never fails. I was in a hurry and took a quick shit. Ended up with a marker tipper and spent 15 minutes wiping myself raw. Finally gave up.

The marker tipper I had ended up also leaving skid marks in my boxers.
by Dick Onchin December 07, 2020
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A more refined and elegant way of saying “eat my ass”. Used by the elite class, members of the upper crust and Hollywood and rumor has it, the royal families of several prominent countries.
Geeves my good man. Have you seen Lady Rose? It’s time for her to masticate my ass.

Masticate my ass. It’s Britney bitch.

It was a long ride back to the estate after a glorious weekend in the Hampton’s so I had the chauffeur pull off at the rest stop and masticate my ass in the back of the Rolls.
by Dick Onchin November 16, 2020
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A viscous of sexual fluids that glaze the penis during coitus. There are three forms of this delightful amalgam.

Oral meat glaze. The frothy concoction of saliva and eventually semen slathering a well sucked knob. Usually moistens the balls as well.

Vaginal meat glaze. The mixture of vaginal secretions, maybe squirt, and a hot load
of jizz vigorously churned inside her love pocket and coating the schlong. When wiped off, it often resembles a snail trail.

Rectal meat glaze. A brownish, lathered cream of ass juice, remnants, lube and semen. Creates a shaft sheen from tip to base. Is often ripe and pungent and may induce gagging during the natural wafting that occurs during cheek clapping.
That dirty slut left me with a thick meat glaze. So I wiped it off on her pillow case.
by Dick Onchin December 28, 2020
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Lubricant used for male masturbation. Can be a commercially produced sexual aid product or whatever one chooses to slather on and nut one out.
I keep my meat jelly in the night stand. I’ll run one out tonight.

I used my mom’s face cream for my meat jelly this morning.

I had to dry rub this morning cause I had nothing for meat jelly.
by Dick Onchin November 21, 2020
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