Schwirm (verb): To schwirm is the act of masturbating with a large piece of raw liver (example: calf liver) to achieve that 'lifelike feel'. Bonus points if the 'user' warms the liver to body temperature in a microwave. Double the fun if they then prepare and eat the liver!
I walked into the kitchen and my roommate was standing beside the stove, schwirming!
A different kind of douchebaggery, brought on by the introduction of high dosages of alcohol and/or drugs to a subject who already exhibits douchebag-like traits.
Exhibiting the tendencies of both a douchebag and a schwilly kid at the same time. Douche-schwillery is most often observed at large festivals where idiots who can't handle their shit take too many drugs end up harshing the mellow for everyone else.
"Man, that dude is so smacked out on H, he's stumbling around head-butting everyone and mumbling incoherently."
The act of taking a pull or swig directly from a bottle of liquor. Schwills are usually performed in a group while passing the bottle to the next person after each schwill. Schwills are not mixed, but can be pre-chased, chased (chaser), or be taken str8 up no chase.
12 step recovery jargon referring to someone new who talks about how great life is, now that they'resober. Usually meaning that the person is out of touch with reality.
The new guy seems pretty happy for a dude who has no job, no money and no family. He must be on a pink cloud.